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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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Saturday, June 18th, 1983.

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Hua Hin, Gulf of Siam, Thailand.

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It was the first day off in a long time,

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and about 130 of us were trying
to get a little rest and relaxation,

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out by this pool at this very modern hotel

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that looks something like a,
a very modern prison.

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Something like the prisons
people or private prisons people

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investing in here in the
United States instead of hotels.

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Something like a pleasure prison.

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A kind of place that,
say if you were taking a trip to Bangkok

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and you took a side trip down to Hua Hin,

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you might come and stay at this hotel,

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but you probably wouldn't go off the grounds

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because of the high barbed wire fence around
the hotel to keep you in and the bandits out.

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You probably wouldn't even
go down to the Gulf of Siam

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because of the dogs, some of them rabid,

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that tend to intimidate you
and drive you up against a wall

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until you learn to pick
up a piece of seaweed,

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shake it in their face,
and everything is hunky-dory.

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And it was the first day off in a long time,

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and the Thai waiters are running and smiling

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and bringing us more Kloster,
Kloster, Kloster beer.

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Everyone is ordering the Kloster.

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No one is drinking the local beer,

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which is exported to the United States

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because they say it has formaldehyde in it.

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And the Thai waiters are
running and jumping and smiling,

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and they can't get to us fast enough,

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and there's a saying that says the Thais
are the nicest people money can buy.

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And it's not a silly smile.

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It's a deep smile because
they have a philosophy, sanuk.

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Sanuk, loosely translated,
means fun, pleasure.

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And they don't do anything if it isn't sanuk.

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And they ask you first,
and if it isn't sanuk,

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they won't touch it with a 10-foot pole.

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Also, another idea that may have to do
with a rather radical Thai Buddhism,

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after they have the sanuk,
they don't have to suffer for it afterwards.

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And it was the first day off in a long time,

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and some of the British crew
had the good sense or bad sense,

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depending on how you look at it, to buy women

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as soon as they arrived in Bangkok.

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I heard each man bought two

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so he wouldn't risk falling in
love when it came time to leave.

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And there the crew were like
these 250-pound beached whales

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out by the swimming pool just lying there

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with these skivvy little chickadees,

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90-pound in from the country
in two-piece bathing suits,

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walking up and down in them,
giving them shiatsu.

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And it was the first day off in a long time,

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and the Thai waiter is
running to jump over hedges

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to bring us more Kloster beer.

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And all of a sudden, the waiter trips, falls.

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The Kloster beers fall and
explode on the cement by the pool.

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And the waiter looks up
with a great smile and says,

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Sorry, sir, we've just run out of Kloster.

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And Ivan, devil in my ear, Ivan Strasburg,

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head of the second camera unit,
a bit of a Mephistophene figure,

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gray beard, handsome man, South African,

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comes up to me and says,

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Spalding man, hey, there's a
party tonight up at the Gulf of Siam.

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One of the workers' mothers
got a summer house up there.

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Hey, could I borrow your toenail clippers,
man?

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Sure. Come on over.

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And do you want to smoke a Thai stick, hey?

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Should I bring some marijuana, man?

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Sure. Why not?

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I mean, it's a party after all.

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I hadn't smoked any
marijuana since I've been...

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Look, every time I am in a country

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where the marijuana is
supposed to be so good, you know,

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India, Mexico, Northern California,
now Thailand,

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I always feel that I should try it, you know.

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Maybe this time it would be different.

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Maybe this time I would
experience a sense of well-being

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like everyone says they do, you know,

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a sense of rest and relaxation,
be able to sleep even.

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You see, it tends to unlock
my Kundalini in the worst way.

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It gets stuck there in my
lower chakra there like a snake,

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like a fist, like a snake chasing its tail,

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like a Studebaker stuck in sand.

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Maybe I'll give it a try this time.

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I thought, no, no, no, no,
no, no, wait a minute.

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I better speak with
Renee first before I do it.

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Renee, my girlfriend,
was over there visiting me for 14 days,

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and I had made a promise,
a commitment, you see,

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is to return, as soon as the film was over,

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to return to her because
we had rented a cabin

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for the summer in upstate New York,
in Krumville, New York,

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you know, K-R-U-M-V-I-L-L-E.

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And let me tell you, Krumville, New York,

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was looking less and less interesting to me

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the longer I was in Thailand, you see.

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The other thing was that I
hadn't had a perfect moment yet.

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And it's very important for
me to have perfect moments

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in exotic countries like that, you know.

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I always like to have to have them

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because it gives you a good sense of closure,
you know,

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kind of lets you know
when it's time to go home.

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And you never know when you're
going to have a perfect moment.

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I mean, the best had alone,

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and you never know when
you're going to have one.

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Look, I had a vision of myself by now

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as a kind of wandering
bachelor mendicant poet,

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wandering all the way down
the beaches of Malaysia,

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eating magic mushrooms all the way as I went

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until I reached Bali, evaporating
in a state of ecstasy in the sunset.

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But I wasn't telling Renee that.

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But she could see that
my will or what was left of it

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was beginning to vacillate,

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and we fell into a fight
on the way to the party

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at the Gulf of Siam,
and we were fighting all the way,

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and we got there to the Gulf of Siam,

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and it was exquisite, you know,
unlike the Hamptons

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where you have a boat and a bigger boat

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and then a ship and a bigger ship,

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and desire and a carrot
in a carrot in a carrot

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and desire and desire and desire and desire.

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There was nothing to buy
out there in the Gulf of Siam.

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I mean,
it was like one big piece of calendar art.

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I just said, look, look, look, Renee,

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look at this beautiful sunset.

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Please stop with the arguing.

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I might be able to have a
perfect moment right now

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and we could go home together.

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But she was very confrontational.

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She always wanted to talk
about what was going on

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in the moment in the relationship,

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not about perfect moments, what was going on,

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and we fell into a fight and began,

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she began crying, and we were fighting,

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and we went back to our separate corners.

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Renee went to Julian Sands,
who was consoling her.

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She was crying on his shoulder.

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I went to Ivan in my corner, devil in my ear,

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Ivan Strasburg,
who said, Spalding, man,

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hey don't let her get the
upper hand in this argument.

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I mean, after all,
what's she going to do, man?

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How many straight single men your age

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are there left in New York City anyway?

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I said, Ivan.

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No.

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And boom, bow,

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we went back at it again from our corners

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and began to clash, and Renee said,

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all right, I'll give you an ultimatum.

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Either you give me a date
when you're coming home

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or you marry me.

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I said, all right.

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July 8th.

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I'll be home by July 8th,
and now it was time to make up.

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Now it was time to have the pleasure

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because in our culture, first you suffer,

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then you have the sinuk,
that's the order of it.

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So now it was time to have the pleasure,

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and we went down by the Gulf of Siam,

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and it was dark,
and the party sounds were in the distance,

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and the waves were lightly lapping,

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and there we sat, Ivan, Renee, and I,

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and Ivan lit that Thai stick

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and passed it down.

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I had no idea how strong it was.
I took a few mild tokes.

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And closing my eyes,

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this overwhelming wave

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of anxiety came over me.

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And with my eyes closed,

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I could see this pile of black and brown shit

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steaming on the edge of
a stainless steel counter,

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and I knew that shit represented

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all the negative energy in my mind.

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And I could see a string
going from my third eye

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to that shit,

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and I knew all I had to do
was simply pull my head

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and have done with it,
pull all that negative shit

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off the edge of the counter,

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and as I was pulling, I saw beside it

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a bubbling pile of pastel energy

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that was floating and connected from tendrils

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that went from pastel to shit brown,

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and I realized the pastel energy

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represented all the
positive energy in my mind,

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and that if I pulled the
negative off the counter,

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I would pull the positive with it,
and I'd be left

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with nothing but a stainless steel counter.

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And all of the sudden the counter

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turned into a tunnel that I was going down

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at the speed of the Santa Cruz rollercoaster,

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right toward the center of the earth.

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I knew I was getting healthier this time.

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The tunnel wasn't black, it was gold leaf.

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And the gold leaf departing like an iris.

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Still I couldn't stand the
speed of it any longer,

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and grab the beach and let out with a great,

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ugh, oh, oh, huh,
leaving that for Ivan to interpret.

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I had no idea where I was.

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00:10:03,530 --> 00:10:04,950
Maybe in Southeast Asia.

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00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:07,490
I didn't know ratty palm
trees in the different distance.

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I mean, it felt like I was in a demented

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Wallace Stevens poem with food poisoning.

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00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:14,510
Renee, I had no idea where Renee was.

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00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,690
Maybe going back to Krumville,
maybe for a walk.

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I saw in the distance what looked like

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Thai Girl Scouts dancing around a bonfire.

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Gals holding hands, not an hallucination.

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I had the clear sense
that if I got in that circle

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and held hands with them, I would be healed.

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I would be whole.

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I would be back in time again.

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And I got up and I began to
stagger like a Bowery bum,

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like a drunken teenager,
like a fraternity brother

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00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:38,090
I've never been before in my life.

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And all of a sudden I realized

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I was gonna be very sick.

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And I pulled off into a
far corner of the beach

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and up it came like a wretched Thai dog.

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00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:49,010
Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh.

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00:10:49,050 --> 00:10:51,450
And as the vomit came up,
I covered it over with sand.

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00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:53,770
And the sand turned into
a black gauze death mask

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00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:55,410
that flew up and covered my face.

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So it'd be vomit, cover, sand, mask.

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00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:59,090
Vomit, cover, sand, mask.

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00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,810
Vomit, cover, sand, mask.

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Until I looked down and saw that I'd built

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00:11:02,330 --> 00:11:04,570
my entire corpse out of sand.

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00:11:04,570 --> 00:11:06,970
And my face was staring back at me

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00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:09,250
and my teeth were cutting
through the rotting lips

228
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,390
and my ribs were coming through

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00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:12,530
the decomposing flesh of my side.

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00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,490
And Renee was standing over me going,

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00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:15,930
what's wrong, hon?

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00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:21,730
I said, I'm dying, that's what's wrong.

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00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,850
She said, oh gee, all this time I thought

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00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,490
you were having a good
time building sand castles.

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00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,730
She was at a distance.

236
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:35,370
They carried me out in that drunken classic

237
00:11:35,370 --> 00:11:37,090
Jesus sailor pose.

238
00:11:37,090 --> 00:11:39,490
One arm over one man, one over the other,

239
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,890
feet dragging.

240
00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:44,450
And I was mortified because the following day

241
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:48,930
I was supposed to do
my big scene in the movie.

242
00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:56,140
What pisses me off is that this country

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00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:58,300
has a lot of faults and a lot of strengths

244
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:01,540
and we have done
nothing but play to the faults.

245
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:06,300
I'm telling you, Sid, I will be damn glad

246
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,780
to get out of here.

247
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,780
This thing is dragged on too long

248
00:12:09,780 --> 00:12:12,780
for it to end in all sweetness and light.

249
00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:14,500
After what the Khmer Rouge have been through,

250
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,820
I don't think they're going to be exactly

251
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,460
affectionate toward Westerners.

252
00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:23,620
In February of 1983, I met this incredible

253
00:12:23,620 --> 00:12:28,380
British documentary filmmaker, Roland Joffe.

254
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,660
Very intense man.

255
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:34,980
A combination of Zorro, Jesus, and Rasputin.

256
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:40,180
Body of Zorro, heart of Jesus,
eyes of Rasputin.

257
00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,580
And he'd been sent over by David Putnam,

258
00:12:42,580 --> 00:12:44,580
who was producing a film
called The Killing Fields,

259
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:47,140
and he'd sent over too cast for actors.

260
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:49,700
And he was seeing people and he was burning.

261
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:50,820
He was doing all the talking.

262
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:52,340
I was listening for 45 minutes.

263
00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:54,180
He talked, he burned with his story.

264
00:12:54,180 --> 00:12:55,140
I listened.

265
00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:57,820
45 minutes he told me
about the story of the film.

266
00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,220
It was about a New York Times reporter,
Sydney Schanberg,

267
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:02,300
who was covering the American secret bombing

268
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:04,020
of Cambodia for the New York Times,

269
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:06,820
and his sidekick, Dith Pran,
a Cambodian photographer,

270
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,700
and how they were curious
to see what would happen

271
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:11,060
when the Khmer Rouge marched into Phnom Penh,

272
00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,500
and how after the American
Embassy was evacuated

273
00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:15,420
and Dith Pran sent his wife and children out

274
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,980
with the American evacuation,

275
00:13:16,980 --> 00:13:19,500
Sydney Schanberg and Dith
Pran fled to the French Embassy

276
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,340
to hide out.

277
00:13:20,340 --> 00:13:21,860
And the Khmer Rouge came in and said,

278
00:13:21,860 --> 00:13:24,140
all Cambodians out of the French Embassy

279
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:25,380
or everyone dies.

280
00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:28,020
And they sent Dith Pran
out to his certain death.

281
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:29,460
The only one that didn't give up hope

282
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,020
was searching with Sydney Schanberg.

283
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:33,700
And he searched for years
until he located Dith Pran

284
00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:36,100
in a Thai refugee camp.

285
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:41,100
And now Dith Pran is working
for the New York Times.

286
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:44,780
I said, wow.

287
00:13:46,980 --> 00:13:48,380
That's an incredible story.

288
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:50,380
It really, it's so hopeful.

289
00:13:50,380 --> 00:13:52,660
It sounds like someone made it up.

290
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:54,100
I'm going to tell you right now,

291
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,620
I would do anything to be in your film.

292
00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,300
I don't even know what
roles you're looking for,

293
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,020
but I want to be really straight with you.

294
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,060
I'm not very political.

295
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:03,060
I don't know anything about secret bombing.

296
00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:05,380
And in fact,
I've never voted before in my life.

297
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:07,060
And Roland says, perfect.

298
00:14:07,060 --> 00:14:09,420
We're looking for the
American Ambassador's aid.

299
00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:12,740
But I can't promise you anything.

300
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:14,740
I have to go out to the
coast to cast out there.

301
00:14:14,740 --> 00:14:16,740
We have to see how the
whole puzzle shapes together.

302
00:14:16,740 --> 00:14:18,500
I'll be back in the city
in three months time.

303
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,660
We'll chat again then.

304
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,900
And I went out and I thought, you know,

305
00:14:22,900 --> 00:14:25,660
I want this,
I want to be involved in this project

306
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,540
more than any other project

307
00:14:27,540 --> 00:14:29,020
I've almost been involved in.

308
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:33,420
But what can I do?

309
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:34,260
I'm going to tell you,

310
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,380
part of why I gave up professional acting

311
00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:38,260
was I got so tired of waiting

312
00:14:38,260 --> 00:14:40,060
for the big indifferent machine

313
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:42,700
to make up its so-called mind.

314
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,820
I wanted to have some
influence over my own destiny,

315
00:14:44,820 --> 00:14:45,980
my own life, you know?

316
00:14:45,980 --> 00:14:47,260
So I wanted to be in this film.

317
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:48,940
I thought, what can I do to influence?

318
00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:51,260
I mean, the first thing that
occurred to me was prayer.

319
00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:52,700
And I thought, mmm, it's balding.

320
00:14:52,700 --> 00:14:53,900
It's been so long.

321
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:57,580
So the next thing that came to me

322
00:14:57,580 --> 00:15:01,460
was that old rational voice
that we all know so well.

323
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:04,460
Well, if I get it, I get it.

324
00:15:05,340 --> 00:15:07,820
If I don't, I'll do something else.

325
00:15:07,820 --> 00:15:10,620
After all, I can still see and walk.

326
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:14,260
And as my mother always said,

327
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:17,220
think of the starving Koreans, right?

328
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:20,140
So I was trying to think
of the starving Koreans,

329
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,140
but my pre-conscious irrational voice

330
00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:23,780
was not behaving so well.

331
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:27,260
It set up this kind of
ritualized magical thinking.

332
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,940
I mean, it started innocently enough.

333
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:32,420
I literally could not go out of my apartment

334
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:35,380
until I turned my little KLH radio off

335
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:37,100
on a positive word.

336
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:40,500
Now it's there all morning some days.

337
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,540
The stock market is rising.

338
00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:44,660
I could go out.

339
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:46,940
Consider moving Marines to safer positions.

340
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:48,100
I could go out.

341
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:50,700
Or you may go to a doctor
who belongs to the AMA,

342
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,100
but it doesn't necessarily
mean you're going to the best.

343
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,140
I could go out.

344
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:55,420
And as I went out,

345
00:15:55,420 --> 00:15:58,660
I found that I was turning
the doorknob three times.

346
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:01,020
Threes became a crucial,
very important magical number.

347
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,900
I was going one, two, three, one, two, three,

348
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,900
one, two, three, one, two,
three, one, two, three,

349
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:07,620
one, two, three, one, two,

350
00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:10,660
and knocking on wood when I could find wood.

351
00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:14,820
Find wood, six sets of nine
and six and three and nine

352
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:18,660
snapping on my way to
the supermarket to buy soup.

353
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:20,660
Six sets of nine, nine times.

354
00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:22,180
Every third can was fine.

355
00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:24,940
The first two cans of soup had botulism,
you see,

356
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,660
or cyanide.

357
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:27,900
And I thought, spalding,

358
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,420
you're going to end up in the insane asylum

359
00:16:29,420 --> 00:16:31,060
before you get the role in the film.

360
00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:32,300
And it was around about the time

361
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:33,420
that the little king took over.

362
00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:35,180
I don't know if you know him,
the super ego figure,

363
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,740
not exactly my best friend.

364
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:37,660
And the little king said,

365
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,300
spalding, if you will,
something I also knew nothing about.

366
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,500
If you can will this
magical thinking to stop,

367
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,820
this act of will will be the
supremo supremo thing

368
00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:46,700
that will get you the role in the film.

369
00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:54,350
So around about the time
I was developing a will,

370
00:16:55,830 --> 00:16:58,270
I was asked to do my
monologues out in Hollywood,

371
00:16:58,270 --> 00:16:59,750
and I was doing a small theater out there.

372
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:01,110
I got good reviews.

373
00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:03,190
And Warner Brothers
television saw the reviews

374
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,830
and asked me to come
in and read for a sitcom.

375
00:17:05,830 --> 00:17:06,950
I said, well, please, you know,

376
00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:07,950
come and see the monologue.

377
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:10,430
You get a better sense of what it is I do.

378
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,510
And they said, well, we'd love to,

379
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:12,990
but we go to bed early out here.

380
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,470
So can you please come in in the morning?

381
00:17:18,990 --> 00:17:20,750
So I came in and read for the sitcom,

382
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,870
and the Lord works in strange ways.

383
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:26,190
No sooner was I going
outside that office than there,

384
00:17:26,190 --> 00:17:28,790
there was Roland Joffe,

385
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:30,830
who was casting for the killing fields

386
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:32,590
because Warner Brothers
was putting money into it

387
00:17:32,590 --> 00:17:34,230
and he was using their offices.

388
00:17:34,230 --> 00:17:36,470
And he said, let's chat again.

389
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:38,070
So I went home and put on my tie and jacket,

390
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:38,910
and I came in.

391
00:17:38,910 --> 00:17:42,750
And once again, once again, Roland burned.

392
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:45,110
He did all the talking for 45 minutes.

393
00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:46,150
I listened.

394
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,750
This time, he was talking about Cambodia.

395
00:17:48,750 --> 00:17:51,310
What a fantastic land it was.

396
00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:54,390
Why,
it was Shangri-La before it was colonized.

397
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,550
He said it was incredible.

398
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,910
He said Thailand was like a Nordic country

399
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,070
compared to Cambodia,
right next to each other.

400
00:18:00,070 --> 00:18:03,430
And he said that 90% of the land

401
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:04,550
was owned by the people.

402
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:05,950
It was earth, it was dirt,

403
00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,870
but it was theirs and it was good.

404
00:18:07,870 --> 00:18:10,110
And they knew how to have a good time.

405
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,270
They knew how to have
a good time getting born,

406
00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:13,310
a good time growing up,

407
00:18:13,310 --> 00:18:14,910
a good time going through puberty,

408
00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:15,870
a good time falling in love,

409
00:18:15,870 --> 00:18:16,750
a good time staying in love,

410
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:17,750
a good time getting married,

411
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:18,950
a good time staying married,

412
00:18:18,950 --> 00:18:20,030
a good time having children,

413
00:18:20,030 --> 00:18:21,390
a good time raising children,

414
00:18:21,390 --> 00:18:22,550
a good time growing old,

415
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,190
a good time dying.

416
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:28,350
They even knew how to have
a good time on New Year's Eve.

417
00:18:29,950 --> 00:18:31,670
I couldn't believe it.

418
00:18:31,670 --> 00:18:33,670
The only thing was that Roland said,

419
00:18:33,710 --> 00:18:35,310
because it was such a beautiful country,

420
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:37,470
that they had lost touch with evil.

421
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,790
Something like the Indian Tantric colonies

422
00:18:39,790 --> 00:18:42,150
on the East Coast of India, BC,

423
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,830
they got so open and tantric and loving

424
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:47,430
that they were totally defenseless.

425
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:48,990
And the Huns came down and ate them up

426
00:18:48,990 --> 00:18:50,790
like chocolate-covered cherries.

427
00:18:50,790 --> 00:18:52,910
Now, Roland said that the Samoans,

428
00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:54,590
which also have a beautiful culture,

429
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:57,950
did not risk this because
they had ritualized tattooing,

430
00:18:57,950 --> 00:19:00,430
in which they initiated
their children to pain.

431
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,470
I didn't know what he was talking about.

432
00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:04,070
My eyes are rolling in my head.

433
00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:06,230
I mean,
I was trying to get a fix on Cambodia.

434
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,270
All the time I was talking,

435
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:08,670
I thought I knew where it was,

436
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,270
and I didn't even have
a map of it in my mind.

437
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:20,460
There it is.

438
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,900
About the size of the state of Missouri.

439
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,140
Roland told me that in 1965,

440
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:30,340
it had about seven million
people in the entire country.

441
00:19:30,340 --> 00:19:33,340
600,000 in the capital, Phnom Penh.

442
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,020
Lovely freshwater lake right in the middle

443
00:19:35,020 --> 00:19:36,820
for all sorts of recreational activity,

444
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:41,140
fishing,
more seaports along the Gulf of Siam here.

445
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,940
Then Roland told me that in 1966,

446
00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:47,780
that happy, sexy,
sax-playing prince, King Sihanouk,

447
00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:50,020
maybe because of his Buddhist tolerance,

448
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,420
allowed the Viet Cong to
put some few sanctuaries

449
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,260
along the border here.

450
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:56,900
Now, the American Air Force
was very upset about this.

451
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,540
They had a theory that the sanctuaries

452
00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:00,660
were being controlled
by a central headquarters

453
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,380
up here in the jungle.

454
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:05,660
A central headquarters
about the size of the Pentagon.

455
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:09,580
Maybe even a replica of the Pentagon.

456
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:11,220
And if they thought we could just send

457
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,540
some B-52s over from Bangkok here,

458
00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,100
don't bother to tell the American public,

459
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,380
just a few raids would take care

460
00:20:16,380 --> 00:20:17,540
of the central headquarters.

461
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:20,060
And they had a secret
meeting at breakfast time

462
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:24,300
at the Pentagon,
and they called it Operation Breakfast.

463
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:27,820
And at the secret meeting,
they came up with the menu.

464
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:29,700
And here is a map of the menu.

465
00:20:34,530 --> 00:20:36,290
Now, it's a bit of an odd diet.

466
00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,050
Remember these bombers, the American bombers,

467
00:20:38,050 --> 00:20:40,050
are coming over from Bangkok six miles up,

468
00:20:40,050 --> 00:20:41,970
like airborne holiday inns,

469
00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:43,890
and they're dropping their bombs by computer,

470
00:20:43,890 --> 00:20:45,730
and they come over, and the first stop

471
00:20:45,730 --> 00:20:47,370
is this sanctuary for supper.

472
00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:49,210
Then around the Parrot's Peak for breakfast,

473
00:20:49,210 --> 00:20:51,130
this sanctuary, then up for dinner,

474
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:53,210
then a dessert, a snack,

475
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,250
and then shooting straight up

476
00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,930
to where they thought
the central headquarters

477
00:20:55,930 --> 00:20:57,410
was for lunch.

478
00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:59,250
Now, Roland told me this had a reverse effect

479
00:20:59,250 --> 00:21:00,290
on the Viet Cong.

480
00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:02,290
Instead of driving them back into Vietnam,

481
00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:04,530
it drove them further into
the Cambodian jungles

482
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,730
where they hitched up with
this weird bunch of rednecks

483
00:21:07,730 --> 00:21:10,090
headed by Pol Pot, the Khmer Rouge,

484
00:21:10,090 --> 00:21:13,530
and the Viet Cong began to teach
the Khmer Rouge how to fight.

485
00:21:13,570 --> 00:21:15,930
Now, no one knows how
they got so weird up there.

486
00:21:15,930 --> 00:21:18,010
They were eating barks,
bugs, lizards, and leaves

487
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:19,170
up there for about five years,

488
00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:20,850
basically going wacko.

489
00:21:20,850 --> 00:21:22,410
Now, there are some theories.

490
00:21:22,410 --> 00:21:25,850
One is Pol Pot was educated in Paris.

491
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:29,690
In a strict Maoist doctrine,

492
00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:31,290
and someone threw into the soup

493
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,570
a perverse bit of Rousseau,

494
00:21:33,570 --> 00:21:35,250
which put him over the edge

495
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:37,370
and made him worser than Hitler even.

496
00:21:37,370 --> 00:21:41,370
A back-to-the-land,
pure agrarian, racist ideology

497
00:21:41,370 --> 00:21:43,610
with no Jewish other to get, you see.

498
00:21:43,610 --> 00:21:45,490
The only other they had was the urban other,

499
00:21:45,490 --> 00:21:47,370
the city dweller here in Phnom Penh.

500
00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:50,490
So you have to imagine
something like 200,000 rednecks

501
00:21:50,490 --> 00:21:52,570
rallying 90 miles upstate in New Pulse

502
00:21:52,570 --> 00:21:53,730
about to move in in New York,

503
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:56,170
eating barks, bugs, lizards, and leaves.

504
00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:58,770
Also, I think Pol Pot was in competition

505
00:21:58,770 --> 00:21:59,890
with Father Mao.

506
00:21:59,890 --> 00:22:02,450
He wanted to have a pure cultural revolution

507
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:05,570
alleviating all intellectuals,
except for one, Pol Pot,

508
00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:07,570
and not have any socialism in between.

509
00:22:07,570 --> 00:22:09,170
Pure communist revolution.

510
00:22:09,170 --> 00:22:10,650
Now, while all this was going on

511
00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:11,770
and they were rallying up there,

512
00:22:11,770 --> 00:22:14,130
Sihanouk, that happy,
sexy sax playing prince,

513
00:22:14,130 --> 00:22:15,650
was out of town for the day,

514
00:22:15,650 --> 00:22:18,090
and there was possibly a CIA coup.

515
00:22:18,090 --> 00:22:20,450
It was a coup, no one's sure
exactly who inspired it,

516
00:22:20,450 --> 00:22:21,570
but I can imagine.

517
00:22:21,570 --> 00:22:24,170
And suddenly, Lon Nol is in office.

518
00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:25,450
All of a sudden in a day.

519
00:22:25,450 --> 00:22:28,130
Now, no one in America
knew anything about Lon Nol.

520
00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:29,890
The press didn't know anything about Lon Nol

521
00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:32,170
except Lon Nol spelled backwards,

522
00:22:32,730 --> 00:22:33,850
spell Lon Nol.

523
00:22:35,050 --> 00:22:36,890
Now, while this was going on,

524
00:22:36,890 --> 00:22:38,050
and again, leave it to a Brit

525
00:22:38,050 --> 00:22:39,490
to tell you about your own history,

526
00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:40,690
I didn't remember this,

527
00:22:40,690 --> 00:22:43,530
our president Nixon was
developing his madman theory

528
00:22:43,530 --> 00:22:45,170
on the banks of Key Biscayne

529
00:22:45,170 --> 00:22:46,610
with Bob Haldeman saying,

530
00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:49,170
listen, Bob, just let the rumor get out

531
00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:50,530
that I've gone mad.

532
00:22:50,530 --> 00:22:52,410
And the Viet Cong will
stop that bombing

533
00:22:52,410 --> 00:22:53,330
because they'll be so sure

534
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,050
I'm gonna press the green button.

535
00:22:55,050 --> 00:22:57,170
And while he's developing his madman theory,

536
00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:58,810
he was taking military advice

537
00:22:58,810 --> 00:23:01,570
from Bibi Riboso and John Mitchell

538
00:23:01,610 --> 00:23:03,410
and watching reruns of Patton

539
00:23:03,410 --> 00:23:05,890
starring George C. Scott
on his bedroom wall

540
00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:07,730
over and over again.

541
00:23:07,730 --> 00:23:09,090
Now, while this was going on,

542
00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:10,370
and again, leave it to a Brit

543
00:23:10,370 --> 00:23:12,050
to remind me of my own history,

544
00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:13,410
Kent State occurred.

545
00:23:13,410 --> 00:23:16,130
Certainly I remember
Kent State to my dying day,

546
00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:18,450
but I'd always lumped it
in with the Vietnam War.

547
00:23:18,450 --> 00:23:20,810
I forgot that it had to
do with the Americans,

548
00:23:20,810 --> 00:23:23,290
specifically American invasion of Cambodia.

549
00:23:23,290 --> 00:23:24,530
And it was a lovely May Day.

550
00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:25,970
Granted, the kids were burning down

551
00:23:25,970 --> 00:23:27,970
the ROTC training building.

552
00:23:29,490 --> 00:23:30,570
And it was a lovely May Day

553
00:23:30,570 --> 00:23:34,450
and Governor James Rhodes
just happened to call out

554
00:23:34,450 --> 00:23:35,650
the Ohio National Guard,

555
00:23:35,650 --> 00:23:37,570
who happened to have
live ammunition in their gun,

556
00:23:37,570 --> 00:23:39,330
and they opened fire on the students.

557
00:23:39,330 --> 00:23:43,410
15 were shot,
four innocent bystanders killed.

558
00:23:43,410 --> 00:23:45,690
This caused enormous dissension
in America.

559
00:23:45,690 --> 00:23:48,730
100,000 protesters
marched on the White House.

560
00:23:48,730 --> 00:23:50,890
Haig had troops in the
basement of the White House

561
00:23:50,890 --> 00:23:52,650
thinking there was going to be a siege.

562
00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:55,130
Nixon didn't get any sleep that night.

563
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:57,930
He was up, he made over 50 phone calls.

564
00:23:57,930 --> 00:24:00,530
Eight to Kissinger, seven to Haldeman,

565
00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:04,330
one to Norman Vincent Peale,
and one to Billy Graham.

566
00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:05,690
And after one hour's sleep,

567
00:24:05,690 --> 00:24:07,930
he got up and put on Rachmaninoff's piano

568
00:24:07,930 --> 00:24:09,970
Concerto No. 1 on the record player.

569
00:24:09,970 --> 00:24:13,330
And with his Cuban valet, Manolo Sanchez,

570
00:24:13,330 --> 00:24:15,250
he went down to the Lincoln Monument

571
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:20,250
to talk to the protesters about surfing,
football,

572
00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:23,650
how travel broadens the mind.

573
00:24:23,650 --> 00:24:25,090
In fact, one student said,

574
00:24:25,090 --> 00:24:27,130
I hope it was because
our president was tired,

575
00:24:27,130 --> 00:24:28,770
but when he asked me,
what school I was from,

576
00:24:28,770 --> 00:24:30,250
and I told him, he said,

577
00:24:30,930 --> 00:24:32,930
how's your team doing this year?

578
00:24:32,930 --> 00:24:36,570
Yeah, the Cooper Church
Amendment went through.

579
00:24:36,570 --> 00:24:39,730
This was supposed to stop
any close ground support troops

580
00:24:39,730 --> 00:24:42,290
in a country where there
was an undeclared war,

581
00:24:43,130 --> 00:24:44,210
i.e. Cambodia.

582
00:24:46,090 --> 00:24:48,490
But I found out only two years ago

583
00:24:48,490 --> 00:24:50,210
that we're not living in a democracy.

584
00:24:50,210 --> 00:24:52,570
Roland told me the president
is commander in chief

585
00:24:52,570 --> 00:24:54,650
of the armed forces and
can bypass the Senate

586
00:24:54,650 --> 00:24:56,490
and Congress to give orders for war,

587
00:24:56,490 --> 00:24:58,810
and he did, he said,
continue the bombing.

588
00:24:58,850 --> 00:25:00,850
The only thing he did do was say,

589
00:25:00,850 --> 00:25:03,730
no more American close
ground support troops

590
00:25:03,730 --> 00:25:06,330
more than 21 miles into Cambodia.

591
00:25:06,330 --> 00:25:08,170
Now, how they were controlling this,
I don't know,

592
00:25:08,170 --> 00:25:11,250
whether the troops had
odometers on their legs or what,

593
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:13,690
but more than 21 miles,
you turn into a pumpkin

594
00:25:13,690 --> 00:25:15,090
or you had to head back.

595
00:25:15,090 --> 00:25:17,970
Now, someone had to go over to Phnom Penh

596
00:25:17,970 --> 00:25:21,330
and tell Lon Nol of this new ruling.

597
00:25:21,330 --> 00:25:23,250
Haig went over, broke it to him.

598
00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:25,970
Lon Nol saw the downfall of Cambodia,

599
00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:27,410
the writing was on the wall.

600
00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:31,650
He turned to the window and
wept openly in front of Haig.

601
00:25:31,650 --> 00:25:34,490
Haig went back and
reported this public weeping,

602
00:25:34,490 --> 00:25:36,730
and they sent over a team of psychiatrists

603
00:25:36,730 --> 00:25:40,290
to examine Lon Nol and
came back with a report

604
00:25:40,290 --> 00:25:43,890
that he was a vague,
unstructured individual,

605
00:25:43,890 --> 00:25:46,330
that he used astrological, folkloric,

606
00:25:46,330 --> 00:25:49,250
and occult references in
his addresses to the nation.

607
00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:51,850
If you can imagine such a thing,
I can actually.

608
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:54,210
Something like, my fellow Americans,

609
00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:55,970
I'm not going out for the next two weeks

610
00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:58,970
because my moon is in Gemini, type thing.

611
00:25:58,970 --> 00:26:01,770
Now, the Cooper Church Amendment went through

612
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:04,530
and this bombing went on for five years.

613
00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:07,730
The Supreme Court never
passed any judgment on it,

614
00:26:07,730 --> 00:26:10,410
and the military speaks with pride today

615
00:26:10,410 --> 00:26:13,330
that five years of the
bombing of Cambodia killed

616
00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:15,850
16,000 of the so-called enemy.

617
00:26:15,850 --> 00:26:19,450
That's 25% killed,
and there's a military ruling

618
00:26:19,450 --> 00:26:22,690
that says you cannot kill
more than 10% of the enemy

619
00:26:22,730 --> 00:26:26,730
without causing irreversible
psychological damage.

620
00:26:26,730 --> 00:26:30,130
So five years of bombing,
a diet of barks, bugs,

621
00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:33,170
lizards,
and leaves up in the Cambodian jungles,

622
00:26:33,170 --> 00:26:35,330
an education in Paris environs,

623
00:26:35,330 --> 00:26:38,610
a strict Maoist doctrine
with a touch of Rousseau,

624
00:26:38,610 --> 00:26:41,610
and other things that we will
probably never know about

625
00:26:41,610 --> 00:26:45,570
in our lifetime,
including perhaps an invisible cloud

626
00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:48,650
of evil that circles the
earth and lands at random

627
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:53,650
in places like Iran, Beirut,
Germany, Cambodia, America.

628
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,850
Set the Khmer Rouge up to carry out

629
00:26:58,850 --> 00:27:02,810
the worst auto-homeogenocide
in modern history.

630
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,720
Whenever I travel, if I can do it,

631
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:29,800
if I can take the time, I'll travel by train

632
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,840
because I like to hang out in the lounge car.

633
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,880
People tell me fantastic stories there.

634
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:35,720
I think it's because we figure

635
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:37,440
we'll never see each other again.

636
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,120
I mean, for me, the Amtrak lounge car

637
00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,960
is like one big rolling confessional.

638
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,800
Last year I was on my
way up from New York City

639
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,360
to Chicago,
and this guy comes up to me and says,

640
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:51,040
hi, I'm Jack Daniels.

641
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,120
Mind if I sit down?

642
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:53,160
I said, no, I'm Spalding Gray.

643
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:54,000
Have a seat.

644
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,840
What's up, Jack?

645
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,240
Oh, nothing much, I'm in the Navy.

646
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,080
Oh, really?

647
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:57,900
Where are you stationed?

648
00:27:57,900 --> 00:27:58,760
Guantanamo Bay.

649
00:27:58,760 --> 00:27:59,640
Oh, where's that?

650
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:00,460
Cuba.

651
00:28:00,460 --> 00:28:01,680
Oh, I should have known that, shouldn't I?

652
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:02,520
What's Cuba like?

653
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:03,340
I've never been down there.

654
00:28:03,340 --> 00:28:04,320
Oh, we don't get into Cuba, man.

655
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,840
We get free flights down the Virgin Islands

656
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:07,000
any time we want.

657
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:07,880
What do you do down there?

658
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:08,720
I get laid.

659
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:09,680
Oh, really, you go to horse, do you?

660
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:10,520
You kidding?

661
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,200
I never paid for sex in my life.

662
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:13,640
I get picked up by couples.

663
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:14,600
I'm into that, you know.

664
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,520
Threesomes, triangles, pyramids.

665
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,880
There's power in that.

666
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,520
I could see what he was talking about.

667
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:20,360
He was cute enough.

668
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:21,680
I could see how someone would pick him up.

669
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:22,920
He was in his civvies, though.

670
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,080
He wasn't in his Navy outfit,

671
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,480
but he had a nice little bod.

672
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,280
The only kind of weird and
demented thing about him,

673
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,560
it was that his ears hadn't grown.

674
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,320
They were like these little pasta shells.

675
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,240
I mean, they,

676
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:34,640
it was as though his body had grown

677
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,320
and his ears hadn't caught up yet.

678
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,520
So I say to him,

679
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,680
so where are you off to, Jack?

680
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:40,520
Pittsburgh.

681
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:41,340
Really, what's up there?

682
00:28:41,340 --> 00:28:42,180
My wife.

683
00:28:42,180 --> 00:28:43,000
Oh, how long's it been?

684
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:43,840
A year.

685
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,360
Oh, I bet she's been doing some swinging,
too, herself.

686
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,720
I bet she's been waiting
for you all this time.

687
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,040
Oh no, I know her.

688
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:53,360
She's got fucking cobwebs
growing between her legs.

689
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,560
But I wouldn't mind watching
her get fucked by a guy

690
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,720
once I get up there, as long as I can watch.

691
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,160
I wouldn't mind that at all.

692
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,160
Oh, really?

693
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:03,080
You mean, you're going,

694
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:04,760
let's go over this again.

695
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,240
You're coming all the way
from Cuba to Pittsburgh?

696
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:10,480
No, man,
I'm not stationed in Guantanamo Bay anymore.

697
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,760
I'm stationed in Philly.

698
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:12,600
Philadelphia?

699
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,840
Really, what's going on there?

700
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:14,680
Can't tell.

701
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:15,500
No way, man.

702
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:16,340
Top secret.

703
00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:18,200
Oh, come on, Jack.

704
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,860
Top secret in Philadelphia?

705
00:29:19,860 --> 00:29:21,080
You can tell me.

706
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:22,220
No, no way.

707
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:24,480
And he proceeds to have five more rum cokes

708
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,960
and he tells me that in Philadelphia,

709
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:31,080
he is chained in a waterproof
chamber down there

710
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,480
with his right arm chained to the wall

711
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:34,040
sitting next to a green button

712
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,200
that goes to a waterproof silo in this ship

713
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,520
with a nuclear missile in it

714
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,160
and a nuclear warhead on it.

715
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,080
And he's down there,
high on blue flake cocaine,

716
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:44,320
a new breed up from Peru

717
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,920
that the Navy doesn't test for.

718
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:49,320
And he's down there, high on lots of coffee

719
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,640
and blue flake cocaine,
just waiting with those earphones

720
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,120
on his little ears, waiting for a message

721
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,920
to fire his rocket at the Russians.

722
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:00,160
And I just turned to him and said,

723
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:04,560
why waterproof?

724
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,880
I mean,
I just thought with the details and workout,

725
00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,320
I could have started with why a green button?

726
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:12,920
And he goes, waterproof, man, waterproof.

727
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:14,160
You ask why waterproof?

728
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,880
I'll tell you why waterproof.

729
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:20,360
When my ship sinks in an ocean,
any ocean, anywhere,

730
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,760
I'm still chained down there

731
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:22,960
in that waterproof chamber.

732
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,560
I press that green button,
it activates that rocket.

733
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,480
It goes up out of its waterproof silo.

734
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:28,680
Up, up, up, up, up.

735
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,120
I get a fucking erection, man,

736
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,440
every time I think of firing
a rocket at those Russians.

737
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,320
We're gonna win, we're gonna win,

738
00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,560
we're gonna win this fucking war.

739
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:37,680
But I like the Navy, man.

740
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,160
I get to travel everywhere.

741
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,680
I've been to India, I've been to Africa,

742
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:41,640
I've been to Sweden.

743
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:43,240
I fucking didn't like Africa though, man.

744
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,080
I don't know why.

745
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,240
Black women just don't turn me on.

746
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,440
It's not that I'm prejudiced
or nothing like that, man.

747
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:49,280
Now here's a guy,

748
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,960
if the women in the
country don't turn him on,

749
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,360
he misses the entire landscape, you see?

750
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,520
He just turns into a big fuzzball,
a black hole

751
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:56,360
that he steps through

752
00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,520
that comes out on the
other side of the world.

753
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,880
In Sweden, I fucking love Sweden, man.

754
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,600
You get to see real Ruskies there.

755
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:03,600
They march in at gunpoint,
they're allowed two beers.

756
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,080
We drink all the fucking beers we want.

757
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:06,640
We're drunk on our asses, man.

758
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:08,920
We're over there yelling, hey, Ruskies!

759
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,240
What's it like in Moscow this time of year?

760
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,640
We hire Swedish whores to go over

761
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:13,480
and put their heads in their laps.

762
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:14,920
You see those fucking sweat, man.

763
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,680
They're stupid, you know?

764
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:17,960
They got liquid fuel in their rockets.

765
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:18,880
Their rockets are rusty.

766
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,280
They're gonna sputter, they're gonna pop.

767
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,040
They're gonna land in our cornfields.

768
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,040
I said, Jack, Jack,
wait a minute, wait, wait, wait.

769
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:26,560
Haven't you been reading the literature?

770
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:27,720
I mean, really, it's bad enough

771
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,120
if the rockets land in the cornfields

772
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:30,200
with the radiation and everything.

773
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,680
No, you don't understand anything, man.

774
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:32,840
The Russians are stupid people.

775
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:33,880
They are backwards.

776
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,280
Do you know that on their ships,

777
00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:37,440
they don't even have electrical intercoms?

778
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,800
They still speak through tubes.

779
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,840
Suddenly, I had this enormous fondness

780
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,860
for the Russian Navy,
for the whole of Mother Russia.

781
00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:50,980
The thought of these men,
like innocent children,

782
00:31:50,980 --> 00:31:54,140
speaking through empty toilet paper rolls,

783
00:31:54,140 --> 00:31:56,300
empty paper towel rolls,

784
00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:58,260
where you could still hear doubt,

785
00:31:58,260 --> 00:32:02,660
confusion, brotherly love, ambivalence,

786
00:32:02,660 --> 00:32:06,100
all those human tones
coming through the tube.

787
00:32:07,460 --> 00:32:08,900
Jack was very patriotic.

788
00:32:08,900 --> 00:32:10,260
Hey, I forgot it exists.

789
00:32:10,260 --> 00:32:12,500
I thought it was on the cover
of Time and Newsweek only.

790
00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:13,900
It's still there if you take the train up

791
00:32:13,900 --> 00:32:15,380
from New York to Chicago.

792
00:32:15,380 --> 00:32:17,900
Three-mile island nuclear power plant.

793
00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:20,620
Jack stands up in salutes and sits back down.

794
00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:24,740
Now, I can tell you, I felt to some extent

795
00:32:24,740 --> 00:32:27,500
like I was looking my death in the face.

796
00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:29,580
I'm not making up any of these stories

797
00:32:29,580 --> 00:32:33,180
I'm telling you tonight, except for one.

798
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,060
Except for the fact that the banana

799
00:32:36,060 --> 00:32:38,980
sticks to the wall when it hits.

800
00:32:38,980 --> 00:32:39,820
That's the only one.

801
00:32:39,820 --> 00:32:40,980
Everything else is true.

802
00:32:42,260 --> 00:32:45,980
Now, I figure if Jack is making up this story

803
00:32:45,980 --> 00:32:48,420
to frighten me, if he wasn't down there

804
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:49,340
in that waterproof chamber,

805
00:32:49,340 --> 00:32:50,380
then he's probably down there now.

806
00:32:50,380 --> 00:32:51,700
If he's white, he's in the Navy,

807
00:32:51,700 --> 00:32:53,380
and he wants it enough, he can get it.

808
00:32:53,380 --> 00:32:54,820
So I am trying to talk him out of it.

809
00:32:54,820 --> 00:32:56,020
I'm making a small stand.

810
00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:57,380
I'm saying, listen, listen, Jack,

811
00:32:58,260 --> 00:32:59,100
you don't want to do it, right?

812
00:32:59,100 --> 00:32:59,940
Look what happened to the guy

813
00:32:59,940 --> 00:33:00,900
that dropped the bomb in Hiroshima.

814
00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:01,740
He went crazy.

815
00:33:01,740 --> 00:33:03,140
You don't want that to happen to you, do you?

816
00:33:03,140 --> 00:33:05,140
He goes, that asshole?

817
00:33:07,140 --> 00:33:09,540
He was not properly brainwashed.

818
00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:10,980
I, he says with great pride,

819
00:33:10,980 --> 00:33:12,540
have been properly brainwashed.

820
00:33:12,540 --> 00:33:14,420
And also, it's a nuclear-destruct club, man.

821
00:33:14,420 --> 00:33:15,540
It's a brotherhood of fear.

822
00:33:15,540 --> 00:33:17,340
It's a whole bunch of people
pressing those buttons,

823
00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:18,180
not just one.

824
00:33:18,180 --> 00:33:19,860
I said, I know, Jack, but if a whole bunch

825
00:33:19,860 --> 00:33:20,980
of you press those buttons,

826
00:33:20,980 --> 00:33:21,980
you're gonna blow up the world.

827
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:22,820
You don't want that.

828
00:33:22,820 --> 00:33:25,580
I mean, think of all you have to live for.

829
00:33:25,580 --> 00:33:27,140
Here I was hard-pressed.

830
00:33:28,540 --> 00:33:32,140
The Blue Flake Cocaine,
getting picked up by the couples,

831
00:33:32,140 --> 00:33:34,820
blowing away the cobwebs
between your wife's legs,

832
00:33:34,820 --> 00:33:36,860
the Swedish whores, any of that.

833
00:33:36,860 --> 00:33:38,460
He said, I'm not gonna die.

834
00:33:38,460 --> 00:33:39,420
I said, how do you know?

835
00:33:39,420 --> 00:33:40,460
We got pubs.

836
00:33:40,460 --> 00:33:41,540
Everything was abbreviated.

837
00:33:41,540 --> 00:33:42,360
What are pubs?

838
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,220
Pubs are Navy publications that tell them

839
00:33:45,220 --> 00:33:46,780
where to go to avoid the radiation

840
00:33:46,780 --> 00:33:49,060
after all of us have been vaporized.

841
00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:51,180
And at that moment,
I pictured him, actually,

842
00:33:51,180 --> 00:33:53,260
down under in Tasmania,

843
00:33:53,260 --> 00:33:56,580
starting a new, small-eared, red-faced,

844
00:33:56,580 --> 00:34:00,220
pea-brained humanoid
race after all of us have gone.

845
00:34:00,220 --> 00:34:04,700
And I thought, you know,
the mother needs a rest.

846
00:34:04,700 --> 00:34:07,700
Mother Earth deserves a long, long rest

847
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:09,400
with no people on her.

848
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,060
Maybe if we're lucky,

849
00:34:11,060 --> 00:34:13,820
after all of us have been vaporized,

850
00:34:13,820 --> 00:34:17,460
Jack will end up in Africa.

851
00:34:17,460 --> 00:34:24,690
Look,
he could see I wasn't exactly on his side.

852
00:34:24,690 --> 00:34:28,290
It was subtle, but he could see it.

853
00:34:28,290 --> 00:34:29,330
And he turned to me,

854
00:34:29,330 --> 00:34:30,730
and he was starting to get a little pissed,

855
00:34:30,730 --> 00:34:34,050
and he said, listen, Mr. Spalding,

856
00:34:34,050 --> 00:34:36,930
I think by now he is
calling me Gary Spalding,

857
00:34:38,930 --> 00:34:40,530
you would not be doing your,

858
00:34:40,530 --> 00:34:42,050
what is it you do again for a living,

859
00:34:42,050 --> 00:34:43,690
your talking cure.

860
00:34:44,690 --> 00:34:46,690
If it was not for me and
the United States Navy

861
00:34:46,690 --> 00:34:49,490
protecting you from the Russians taking over,

862
00:34:49,490 --> 00:34:51,290
the Russians taking over the world,

863
00:34:53,250 --> 00:34:54,590
I thought, wait a minute, wait a minute,

864
00:34:54,590 --> 00:34:55,930
maybe he's right.

865
00:34:55,930 --> 00:34:58,490
Maybe the Russians are
trying to take over the world.

866
00:34:58,490 --> 00:35:00,770
Maybe I'm the one that's brainwashed.

867
00:35:00,770 --> 00:35:03,810
Maybe I've been hanging
out with liberals too long.

868
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:04,650
Maybe I'm deluded,

869
00:35:04,650 --> 00:35:05,970
maybe all this time I thought

870
00:35:05,970 --> 00:35:08,690
I was a conscientious pacifist.

871
00:35:08,690 --> 00:35:10,530
I was really just a passive,

872
00:35:10,530 --> 00:35:12,290
aggressive, unconscious coward.

873
00:35:13,290 --> 00:35:15,490
I mean, and like any good liberal,

874
00:35:15,490 --> 00:35:20,130
I should question everything, right?

875
00:35:20,130 --> 00:35:21,170
So I should question this.

876
00:35:21,170 --> 00:35:23,370
For instance, when did I last make a stand?

877
00:35:23,370 --> 00:35:24,530
Just stand up, for instance,

878
00:35:24,530 --> 00:35:26,330
let alone for the United States of America.

879
00:35:26,330 --> 00:35:28,130
Every time I try to think of
the United States of America,

880
00:35:28,130 --> 00:35:29,030
I get the cold sweats.

881
00:35:29,030 --> 00:35:30,610
I can't even look at a weather map anymore.

882
00:35:30,610 --> 00:35:31,690
It's too big.

883
00:35:31,690 --> 00:35:33,690
That's part of why I moved to Manhattan.

884
00:35:33,690 --> 00:35:37,090
I wanted to move to an
island off the coast of America,

885
00:35:37,090 --> 00:35:39,170
somewhere between Europe and America

886
00:35:39,170 --> 00:35:41,050
with only 17 million people

887
00:35:41,050 --> 00:35:42,370
and clear boundaries,

888
00:35:42,370 --> 00:35:44,610
outlines, something you can get a grasp of.

889
00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:49,830
My girlfriend, Renee,

890
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,740
her upstairs neighbor is
a member of the art mafia.

891
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,120
She first got involved with it

892
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:57,160
when she was working for the man

893
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,280
that defaced the Guernica
and became famous for it

894
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,280
and now has galleries all over Soho.

895
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,680
Now she has her own gallery.

896
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:08,320
She plays her quadraphonic torture box,

897
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,780
full blast above us.

898
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:13,000
Every night it's Bob Dylan's Sarah.

899
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,160
Something must have
happened to her way back then

900
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,200
and she really,
it could be worse.

901
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,120
But every night it's unbelievable.

902
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,120
It's like you're in the room with it.

903
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,600
I mean, if it was just 1.30 in the morning,

904
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,760
fine, it'd be like feeding time.

905
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:23,880
You could get through it.

906
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:24,800
But it's diabolical.

907
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,120
It's 1.36 in the morning.

908
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:27,080
It's 2.10 in the morning.

909
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,240
It's 3.15 in the morning.

910
00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:29,800
It's 4.11 in the morning.

911
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,620
What do you do?

912
00:36:30,620 --> 00:36:31,460
You call the police.

913
00:36:31,460 --> 00:36:32,300
They come, she turns it down.

914
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,140
They leave, she turns it up.

915
00:36:33,140 --> 00:36:33,960
They come, she turns it down.

916
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:34,800
They leave, she turns it up.

917
00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:36,120
I mean, she's up there.

918
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,400
She gets these guys in from the Midwest

919
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,020
that want to become
rich and famous in a year,

920
00:36:40,020 --> 00:36:41,960
make five figure number here in Soho.

921
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:42,880
They come in, they're sleeping

922
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,360
in sleeping bags on her floor.

923
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,480
Whenever we complain, she sends them down

924
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,940
and they go, hey, look, man,

925
00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:51,020
New York is party city.

926
00:36:51,020 --> 00:36:52,680
That's why we moved here, you see?

927
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,880
You can have parties on weeknights.

928
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,680
Now, if you don't dig it,

929
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,680
you should move to the country, old man.

930
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:01,500
I go back.

931
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:03,040
I'm trying to practice my Buddhist tolerance,

932
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,900
which in New York City could be translated

933
00:37:04,900 --> 00:37:07,500
one big escapist rationalization, right?

934
00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:10,020
I mean, I'm turning all my cheeks

935
00:37:10,020 --> 00:37:11,820
to the wall at this point.

936
00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:14,460
Renee is not practicing Buddhist tolerance.

937
00:37:14,460 --> 00:37:16,060
She's walking up and down.

938
00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:18,940
She's got steam screaming out of her navel.

939
00:37:18,940 --> 00:37:20,220
And there are people that say,

940
00:37:20,220 --> 00:37:22,340
we should start a
collection to hire vigilante

941
00:37:22,340 --> 00:37:23,900
to off this woman, to kill her.

942
00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:26,180
And I find I'm not saying no.

943
00:37:26,180 --> 00:37:27,620
That's how New York has changed me.

944
00:37:27,620 --> 00:37:29,980
I'm willing to put money into the pot.

945
00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:31,420
I mean, listen, listen, listen.

946
00:37:31,420 --> 00:37:35,420
When I was back in Boston
in 1964 with my people,

947
00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:38,580
white bread homogenized brick wall Boston

948
00:37:38,580 --> 00:37:40,420
back in 1964 when they had the,

949
00:37:40,420 --> 00:37:41,260
what would you call it then?

950
00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:42,860
It was a hi-fi.

951
00:37:42,860 --> 00:37:43,700
Not to call it.

952
00:37:43,700 --> 00:37:45,900
If a hi-fi was on too loud above me,

953
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:47,660
I would simply make a phone call.

954
00:37:47,660 --> 00:37:48,860
I would just call up,

955
00:37:48,860 --> 00:37:50,940
I would pick up the phone and go, hi.

956
00:37:50,940 --> 00:37:51,780
Hi, Puffy.

957
00:37:51,780 --> 00:37:52,620
Hi.

958
00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:56,500
Hi, it's buddy Gray down here.

959
00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:57,940
Hi, guys.

960
00:37:57,940 --> 00:37:59,420
Yeah, just a few notches.

961
00:37:59,420 --> 00:38:00,360
I wouldn't ask you to do it,

962
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:02,620
but I got an early dance
class in the morning.

963
00:38:02,620 --> 00:38:03,440
Right.

964
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:05,000
Yep, thanks a lot, Puff.

965
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,620
Merry Christmas to you too, guys.

966
00:38:06,620 --> 00:38:08,300
Bye.

967
00:38:08,300 --> 00:38:09,140
Write down.

968
00:38:10,060 --> 00:38:12,260
We had the common language.

969
00:38:12,260 --> 00:38:15,740
You know, Renee,
Renee's father was in the Jewish mafia.

970
00:38:15,740 --> 00:38:16,940
She knows the language.

971
00:38:16,940 --> 00:38:18,780
She grew up in the streets of New York.

972
00:38:18,780 --> 00:38:20,300
She calls up and goes:

973
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:23,220
Bet you wanna die, right bitch, cunt?

974
00:38:23,220 --> 00:38:25,940
I'll beat your fucking
face in with a baseball bat.

975
00:38:25,940 --> 00:38:29,460
Bitch, cunt, die, die, die.

976
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:33,640
Goes louder.

977
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:36,940
Renee's convinced the woman's a masochist

978
00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,140
and is getting off on the language.

979
00:38:38,140 --> 00:38:40,420
The other day, I am walking out of her loft.

980
00:38:40,420 --> 00:38:43,780
I have an empty Molson
Gold bottle in my hand.

981
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,980
I don't know,
I guess I was going to get my nickel back.

982
00:38:45,980 --> 00:38:50,180
And I am seized with
these party sounds upstairs.

983
00:38:50,180 --> 00:38:53,180
I'm not out of control.

984
00:38:53,180 --> 00:38:54,500
It's a classic Greek rage.

985
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,220
My head and gut are completely balanced.

986
00:38:56,220 --> 00:38:58,060
My gut is wrenching with butterflies.

987
00:38:58,060 --> 00:38:59,380
My head has that old adage,

988
00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:01,100
that old ticker tape going across the far,

989
00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:02,420
you know, that old adage,

990
00:39:02,420 --> 00:39:04,300
all weakness tends to corrupt.

991
00:39:04,300 --> 00:39:06,900
Impotence corrupts absolutely.

992
00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:09,460
And I just took that bottle and,

993
00:39:09,460 --> 00:39:10,820
zoom, hurled it.

994
00:39:10,820 --> 00:39:12,820
It went up two flights of stairs, exploded,

995
00:39:12,820 --> 00:39:15,540
boom,
glass everywhere like a glass hand grenade.

996
00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:18,340
They charged out with their bats and guns.

997
00:39:18,340 --> 00:39:19,340
I ran.

998
00:39:20,660 --> 00:39:22,060
Because it was an act of passion,

999
00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:24,020
I forgot to tell Renee I was going to do it.

1000
00:39:24,020 --> 00:39:25,220
And she was way behind me

1001
00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:27,180
picking up plastic garbage bags.

1002
00:39:27,180 --> 00:39:30,620
So by the time she got to the door,
they caught her.

1003
00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:33,060
But they didn't do anything
because she was innocent.

1004
00:39:33,060 --> 00:39:35,100
She had no idea what they were talking about

1005
00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:37,780
and they recognized this innocence

1006
00:39:37,780 --> 00:39:38,980
so they didn't kill her.

1007
00:39:40,340 --> 00:39:41,380
So there's hope.

1008
00:39:43,900 --> 00:39:48,900
But I say, how does a country like America,

1009
00:39:49,820 --> 00:39:51,140
or rather, how does America,

1010
00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:53,020
because certainly there's no country like it,

1011
00:39:53,020 --> 00:39:56,420
begin to find the
language to negotiate a talk

1012
00:39:56,420 --> 00:39:58,820
with a country like Russia or Libya?

1013
00:39:58,820 --> 00:40:03,020
If I can't even begin
to get it with my people

1014
00:40:03,020 --> 00:40:06,260
on the corner of Broadway and John Street.

1015
00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:12,990
So I got the role.

1016
00:40:16,180 --> 00:40:18,020
And I went to Bangkok.

1017
00:40:18,020 --> 00:40:20,620
And I arrived, a 200 year old city

1018
00:40:20,620 --> 00:40:22,700
on a swamp and sinking 110 degrees.

1019
00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:24,620
I got a letter under the door that says,

1020
00:40:24,620 --> 00:40:27,500
welcome, Spalding Gray, Esquire.

1021
00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:28,900
The British boy you rotten.

1022
00:40:28,900 --> 00:40:31,140
They refer to all the actors as artists.

1023
00:40:31,140 --> 00:40:33,060
The AD goes, will the artists please

1024
00:40:33,060 --> 00:40:34,020
get on the helicopters?

1025
00:40:34,020 --> 00:40:35,780
Will the artists please jump off the cliff?

1026
00:40:36,740 --> 00:40:39,860
I mean,
they will get you to do anything that way.

1027
00:40:41,260 --> 00:40:44,100
Now, the first big scene of the film,

1028
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:45,540
or rather my first big scene,

1029
00:40:45,540 --> 00:40:47,340
which felt like the first big scene,

1030
00:40:47,340 --> 00:40:50,100
was here in Bangkok, outside of Bangkok.

1031
00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:52,180
Remember, we are reenacting the events

1032
00:40:52,180 --> 00:40:54,700
of April of 75 that happened in Phnom Penh,

1033
00:40:54,700 --> 00:40:56,700
but we are doing it in Bangkok.

1034
00:40:56,700 --> 00:40:57,780
And the first big scene for me

1035
00:40:57,780 --> 00:41:00,420
is the reenacting of the evacuation

1036
00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:02,620
of the American Embassy in April of 75.

1037
00:41:02,620 --> 00:41:04,700
And I am there with the man that's playing

1038
00:41:04,700 --> 00:41:06,100
the American Ambassador, Ira Wheeler.

1039
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:06,940
Interesting man.

1040
00:41:06,940 --> 00:41:09,260
He was vice president of Selenese Chemical,

1041
00:41:09,260 --> 00:41:11,340
and someone saw him singing in a glee club

1042
00:41:11,340 --> 00:41:12,940
here in New York after he retired.

1043
00:41:12,940 --> 00:41:14,020
They put him in the killing fields

1044
00:41:14,020 --> 00:41:15,500
thinking he looked like
the American Ambassador,

1045
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:18,220
so he's beginning his
film career 64 years old.

1046
00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:19,740
He's playing the American Ambassador,

1047
00:41:19,740 --> 00:41:21,180
John Gunther Dean, who was the last

1048
00:41:21,180 --> 00:41:23,140
American Ambassador in Phnom Penh,

1049
00:41:23,140 --> 00:41:25,100
was flown out, now is American Ambassador

1050
00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:26,700
of Thailand in Bangkok.

1051
00:41:26,700 --> 00:41:28,820
John Gunther Dean.

1052
00:41:28,820 --> 00:41:31,540
I met politicians before,
but I have never met statesmen.

1053
00:41:31,540 --> 00:41:33,980
This man was a noble, noble man,

1054
00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:35,620
a combination of a ship's captain,

1055
00:41:35,620 --> 00:41:38,260
we'll say the QE2,
and a boarding school principal,

1056
00:41:38,260 --> 00:41:40,380
let's say Phillips Andover Academy, right?

1057
00:41:40,380 --> 00:41:44,020
He said, we saw Cambodia as a ship

1058
00:41:44,020 --> 00:41:46,540
floundering in heavy seas.

1059
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:48,180
We wanted nothing more than to bring

1060
00:41:48,180 --> 00:41:50,220
that ship safely into port.

1061
00:41:50,220 --> 00:41:52,540
When we saw we weren't
going to be able to do that,

1062
00:41:52,540 --> 00:41:54,740
we wanted to go off her with dignity.

1063
00:41:54,740 --> 00:41:57,340
I cut down the American
flag you see here behind me

1064
00:41:57,340 --> 00:41:59,460
and wrapped it in plastic over my arm.

1065
00:41:59,460 --> 00:42:01,100
And sure enough, there was Ira Wheeler

1066
00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:02,380
playing the American Ambassador,

1067
00:42:02,420 --> 00:42:04,380
running with the American
flag wrapped in plastic

1068
00:42:04,380 --> 00:42:05,220
over his arm.

1069
00:42:05,220 --> 00:42:06,540
Me, the American Ambassador's aide,

1070
00:42:06,540 --> 00:42:08,740
running beside him,
headed for the Cadillac limousine.

1071
00:42:08,740 --> 00:42:10,380
The first thing that
happens when we get there

1072
00:42:10,380 --> 00:42:12,060
is that the air conditioner breaks.

1073
00:42:12,060 --> 00:42:13,460
Then the electric windows break,

1074
00:42:13,460 --> 00:42:15,620
the radiator boils over,
and the entire exhaust system

1075
00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:17,500
is dragging on the ground
by the end of the day.

1076
00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:19,420
I am laughing, I find this very funny.

1077
00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:21,380
Ira is not laughing, he is sweating.

1078
00:42:21,380 --> 00:42:23,420
This man sweats like a, like a, like a,

1079
00:42:23,420 --> 00:42:25,380
like an Ira, I would have to say.

1080
00:42:25,380 --> 00:42:26,660
They are changing his shirt.

1081
00:42:26,660 --> 00:42:28,420
He is back there in a Slough of Despond

1082
00:42:28,420 --> 00:42:29,700
because for the first time in his life,

1083
00:42:29,700 --> 00:42:31,620
he's studying Stanislavski and acting,

1084
00:42:31,660 --> 00:42:33,780
and he's brought the
textbook an actor prepares

1085
00:42:33,780 --> 00:42:34,940
and building a character,

1086
00:42:34,940 --> 00:42:36,580
and he's trying to do an emotional memory

1087
00:42:36,580 --> 00:42:38,380
because the director
Roland Joffe has told him

1088
00:42:38,380 --> 00:42:40,180
to look like he's on the verge of tears,

1089
00:42:40,180 --> 00:42:42,620
and he's trying to be on
the verge of tears all day,

1090
00:42:42,620 --> 00:42:44,300
just in case they turn the camera on.

1091
00:42:44,300 --> 00:42:46,900
He is in a Slough of Despond in the backseat

1092
00:42:46,900 --> 00:42:48,980
thinking about something awful from his past.

1093
00:42:48,980 --> 00:42:50,300
Up until then, we've been friends.

1094
00:42:50,300 --> 00:42:51,540
Now he's not talking to me.

1095
00:42:51,540 --> 00:42:53,660
I'm bored, so I'm talking to the driver.

1096
00:42:53,660 --> 00:42:55,500
He's an extra, an American expatriate

1097
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:59,020
from San Francisco who says
America has gone to the dogs,

1098
00:42:59,020 --> 00:43:01,180
gone to the wow-wows, he called it.

1099
00:43:01,180 --> 00:43:02,900
He's gone to Thailand, the pure land,

1100
00:43:02,900 --> 00:43:04,340
to become an elephant expert,

1101
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:06,740
and he is working for the
Thai Agricultural Committee

1102
00:43:06,740 --> 00:43:07,700
counting elephants.

1103
00:43:07,700 --> 00:43:08,980
That's what he does for a living.

1104
00:43:08,980 --> 00:43:10,820
He sleeps at night with
the elephants on the ground.

1105
00:43:10,820 --> 00:43:11,980
The elephant sleeps standing up.

1106
00:43:11,980 --> 00:43:13,820
In the day,
he gets up with his little elephant counter

1107
00:43:13,820 --> 00:43:15,580
and goes out counting the elephants.

1108
00:43:15,580 --> 00:43:17,860
The only problem is he
said he has a bum leg now,

1109
00:43:17,860 --> 00:43:19,980
a game leg, and he can't outrun an elephant

1110
00:43:19,980 --> 00:43:21,900
if it charges,
and it will charge in its sleep

1111
00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,060
if you wake it, and he said he may be killed

1112
00:43:24,060 --> 00:43:25,940
within the next month or so by an elephant.

1113
00:43:25,940 --> 00:43:26,980
In the middle of all this,

1114
00:43:26,980 --> 00:43:28,460
Ira Wheeler looks up and says,

1115
00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:30,420
will you stop it, please?

1116
00:43:30,420 --> 00:43:33,340
Will you stop whatever it is
you're talking about up there?

1117
00:43:33,340 --> 00:43:35,780
I am trying to have an emotional memory.

1118
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:38,700
I said, Ira,
here is a man that's actually about

1119
00:43:38,700 --> 00:43:40,260
to be killed by an elephant.

1120
00:43:40,260 --> 00:43:43,340
Try working with that one.

1121
00:43:43,340 --> 00:43:45,500
And here we are, driving through black smoke,

1122
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,220
pouring off of burning rubber tires

1123
00:43:47,220 --> 00:43:48,620
that they're making look like a real war,

1124
00:43:48,620 --> 00:43:51,100
headed for the non-existent
Sikorsky helicopter.

1125
00:43:51,100 --> 00:43:51,940
We're supposed to get on.

1126
00:43:51,940 --> 00:43:53,300
It's not there, I assume,

1127
00:43:53,300 --> 00:43:54,500
because the American Air Force

1128
00:43:54,500 --> 00:43:57,220
has not given the Thai Air
Force Sikorsky helicopters yet.

1129
00:43:57,260 --> 00:44:00,420
Just these little choppers
driving through Marine guards.

1130
00:44:00,420 --> 00:44:03,180
Americans dressed as Marines,
who are these guys?

1131
00:44:03,180 --> 00:44:05,100
I suppose some of them
didn't get enough of the war,

1132
00:44:05,100 --> 00:44:07,020
so they're over there joining Bo Gritz,

1133
00:44:07,020 --> 00:44:08,580
who's starting his own foreign legion

1134
00:44:08,580 --> 00:44:10,940
to go in to look for MIAs and LAOs.

1135
00:44:10,940 --> 00:44:13,540
Others are Americans
that are there dealing drugs,

1136
00:44:13,540 --> 00:44:15,700
which is extremely
lucrative but very dangerous,

1137
00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:20,700
and others are Americans
that are there for sex and drugs.

1138
00:44:21,260 --> 00:44:23,820
Capital S, small d,

1139
00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:25,740
because on one lower chakra level,

1140
00:44:25,780 --> 00:44:28,700
Bangkok is one big whorehouse.

1141
00:44:29,820 --> 00:44:33,060
Now, it's not all our fault
for the RandR and the war,

1142
00:44:33,060 --> 00:44:35,500
the Australian tourists or
the Japanese sex tourists

1143
00:44:35,500 --> 00:44:37,220
that come through in busloads.

1144
00:44:37,220 --> 00:44:39,300
Certainly the tradition of concubines

1145
00:44:39,300 --> 00:44:42,300
existed for thousands of years in Thailand,

1146
00:44:42,300 --> 00:44:45,140
but we kind of blew it out of
hand with the Vietnam War.

1147
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,740
We had quants of hearts
filled with Thai prostitutes

1148
00:44:47,740 --> 00:44:49,780
that were drinking a kind of

1149
00:44:49,780 --> 00:44:52,100
Chinese herbal medicine for birth control,

1150
00:44:52,100 --> 00:44:53,780
so there were a lot of Amerasian children

1151
00:44:53,780 --> 00:44:55,500
born out of this experience.

1152
00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:58,140
Now, after the war,
they knocked down those quants at huts

1153
00:44:58,140 --> 00:44:59,340
and moved all their prostitutes

1154
00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:01,460
back to the red light district, Pat Phong.

1155
00:45:01,460 --> 00:45:03,420
If you've been in Bangkok,
I'm sure you've seen it.

1156
00:45:03,420 --> 00:45:04,820
There's not that much to see.

1157
00:45:04,820 --> 00:45:06,620
You can see the gold Buddha in the day

1158
00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:08,220
and Pat Phong at night.

1159
00:45:08,220 --> 00:45:10,100
If you saw the deer hunter recently,

1160
00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:12,420
those shots in Saigon were shot

1161
00:45:12,420 --> 00:45:14,740
in the Mississippi Queen bar in Pat Phong.

1162
00:45:14,740 --> 00:45:16,740
You go into the Mississippi Queen bar,

1163
00:45:16,740 --> 00:45:18,860
it's like they're still
shooting the deer hunter.

1164
00:45:18,860 --> 00:45:20,780
There is no sense of seduction,

1165
00:45:20,780 --> 00:45:23,540
as in across a crowded room.

1166
00:45:23,580 --> 00:45:26,140
They fly to you and stick,

1167
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,460
and their body is big enough

1168
00:45:27,460 --> 00:45:29,340
and they are small enough
you feel like a Christmas tree.

1169
00:45:29,340 --> 00:45:31,500
You can hold six of them, two in your elbow,

1170
00:45:31,500 --> 00:45:33,140
two in your lap, two in your shoulders,

1171
00:45:33,140 --> 00:45:34,740
and they are laughing and giggling,

1172
00:45:34,740 --> 00:45:36,900
and they are so apparently happy

1173
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:38,340
and they are grabbing at your tinkler

1174
00:45:38,340 --> 00:45:39,540
and grabbing at your wallet,

1175
00:45:39,540 --> 00:45:40,700
and they are so cute,

1176
00:45:40,700 --> 00:45:43,020
and if you can make up
your mind which one you like,

1177
00:45:43,020 --> 00:45:44,380
you can go back to your hotel

1178
00:45:44,380 --> 00:45:46,340
and spend the entire night

1179
00:45:46,340 --> 00:45:49,740
for $26.00 a 500 Thai baht.

1180
00:45:49,740 --> 00:45:51,300
Now, if you don't want to do that

1181
00:45:51,300 --> 00:45:53,020
because you don't want to be kept awake

1182
00:45:53,020 --> 00:45:55,900
by a laughing, giggling Thai prostitute

1183
00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:58,660
and you want to be in control,

1184
00:45:58,660 --> 00:46:01,580
you can instead go to a massage parlor.

1185
00:46:01,580 --> 00:46:02,740
And the massage parlors

1186
00:46:02,740 --> 00:46:04,620
are very much like department stores.

1187
00:46:04,620 --> 00:46:06,860
Every floor has about 35 women,

1188
00:46:06,910 --> 00:46:08,550
fully dressed with numbers on,

1189
00:46:08,550 --> 00:46:10,990
sitting on tiers under fluorescent lights,

1190
00:46:10,990 --> 00:46:12,790
all looking at one point.

1191
00:46:12,790 --> 00:46:15,190
It's not the Buddha, it's the TV set.

1192
00:46:16,110 --> 00:46:18,670
Now, the men walk back and forth

1193
00:46:18,670 --> 00:46:20,950
by this one-way mirror like little sultans

1194
00:46:20,950 --> 00:46:23,430
until they see, if not the perfect woman,

1195
00:46:23,430 --> 00:46:24,710
at least the perfect body,

1196
00:46:24,710 --> 00:46:26,270
and then they say,

1197
00:46:26,270 --> 00:46:28,470
would you call number eight for me, please?

1198
00:46:28,470 --> 00:46:31,950
And the man goes,
number eight?

1199
00:46:31,950 --> 00:46:33,070
And number eight stands up

1200
00:46:33,070 --> 00:46:35,350
and you can tell immediately
by the expression on her face

1201
00:46:35,350 --> 00:46:37,310
it's not gonna be as great as you fantasize

1202
00:46:37,310 --> 00:46:38,430
because among other things,

1203
00:46:38,430 --> 00:46:40,430
you've interrupted her TV show.

1204
00:46:41,510 --> 00:46:42,710
And for a little bit of money,

1205
00:46:42,710 --> 00:46:44,510
you go down to a small room.

1206
00:46:44,510 --> 00:46:46,830
She stays fully dressed,
you get completely naked,

1207
00:46:46,830 --> 00:46:48,990
and she gives you a mild tweak,
tweak, tweak, tweak

1208
00:46:49,030 --> 00:46:52,030
massage, just surface,
nothing right keen about it.

1209
00:46:52,030 --> 00:46:54,390
A little bit more money, she gets naked,

1210
00:46:54,390 --> 00:46:55,350
and now you're both naked,

1211
00:46:55,350 --> 00:46:57,390
and the mama-san is
poking her head all the time

1212
00:46:57,390 --> 00:46:59,710
in to see that it's progressing financially.

1213
00:46:59,710 --> 00:47:00,950
She closes the door and goes out,

1214
00:47:00,950 --> 00:47:01,790
now you're both naked,

1215
00:47:01,790 --> 00:47:04,270
and she gives you another mild tweak,
tweak, tweak, tweak

1216
00:47:04,270 --> 00:47:05,790
massage, nothing deep about it,

1217
00:47:05,790 --> 00:47:08,270
only occasionally you feel her warm flesh

1218
00:47:08,270 --> 00:47:10,190
brush up against your flesh.

1219
00:47:10,190 --> 00:47:13,230
And a little bit more money
and you get a hand job.

1220
00:47:13,230 --> 00:47:16,430
And a little bit more money
and you get to fuck her.

1221
00:47:16,430 --> 00:47:18,110
And a little bit more money

1222
00:47:18,190 --> 00:47:23,190
and you get the supremo,
supremo, the body, body massage.

1223
00:47:24,070 --> 00:47:25,950
She takes you and puts you in a bathtub

1224
00:47:25,950 --> 00:47:28,670
and soaps you up into
your slippery as bar of soap

1225
00:47:28,670 --> 00:47:30,330
and she doesn't rinse you.

1226
00:47:30,330 --> 00:47:31,610
Then she puts you on a water bed

1227
00:47:31,610 --> 00:47:33,050
and she gets in that same tub

1228
00:47:33,050 --> 00:47:35,250
and soaps herself up until she's as slippery

1229
00:47:35,250 --> 00:47:37,690
as a bar of soap and she doesn't rinse.

1230
00:47:37,690 --> 00:47:39,210
And she gets on one side of the room

1231
00:47:39,210 --> 00:47:40,730
and takes this running gallop

1232
00:47:40,730 --> 00:47:43,570
and goes, boom, and lands on top of you

1233
00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:45,450
and it's body, body, squiggle, squiggle,

1234
00:47:45,450 --> 00:47:46,690
bubbles coming out between you.

1235
00:47:46,690 --> 00:47:48,570
You sound like two huge sewer plungers.

1236
00:47:48,570 --> 00:47:50,570
There's nothing erotic about it.

1237
00:47:50,570 --> 00:47:52,450
It's downright hilarious.

1238
00:47:52,450 --> 00:47:54,930
And when she finishes with you for the finale

1239
00:47:54,930 --> 00:47:56,290
and I only heard about this.

1240
00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:57,730
I never saw it or had it.

1241
00:47:57,730 --> 00:47:59,170
It's called boobly-oobly.

1242
00:47:59,170 --> 00:48:00,930
It's a final facial massage.

1243
00:48:00,930 --> 00:48:01,970
The GIs loved it.

1244
00:48:01,970 --> 00:48:03,690
If she had large breasts, she'd part them.

1245
00:48:03,690 --> 00:48:05,810
They'd stick their faces
in and she'd cry out,

1246
00:48:05,810 --> 00:48:07,850
boobly-oobly and let go.

1247
00:48:09,390 --> 00:48:11,630
Now, after you've been fucked, sucked,

1248
00:48:11,630 --> 00:48:13,990
had the tubes cleaned,
nose cleaned, toes cleaned

1249
00:48:13,990 --> 00:48:16,230
and you're ready for more
for rest and relaxation,

1250
00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:19,310
you can at last go to unwind at a live show

1251
00:48:19,310 --> 00:48:22,310
in which women do
everything with their vaginas

1252
00:48:22,310 --> 00:48:24,110
except having babies.

1253
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,910
It starts with ping pong
balls and she's fully loaded.

1254
00:48:26,910 --> 00:48:31,190
So they fire an automatic
into a soda fountain glass.

1255
00:48:31,190 --> 00:48:34,550
So it's pooh, pooh, pooh,
pooh, pooh, pooh, pooh.

1256
00:48:34,550 --> 00:48:35,910
Then out comes the Coke bottle

1257
00:48:35,910 --> 00:48:37,390
and it's a king size Coke bottle,

1258
00:48:37,390 --> 00:48:39,350
a glass one I haven't seen in years.

1259
00:48:39,350 --> 00:48:41,430
And she shakes that bottle and she shakes it

1260
00:48:41,430 --> 00:48:43,030
and she shakes it and she shakes it.

1261
00:48:43,030 --> 00:48:44,270
She shakes it for so long,

1262
00:48:44,270 --> 00:48:45,990
you begin to think that's the whole act.

1263
00:48:45,990 --> 00:48:47,630
Just that shaking of that bottle.

1264
00:48:47,630 --> 00:48:49,710
And just to prove that that cap is on tight

1265
00:48:49,710 --> 00:48:51,150
and at last she opens it.

1266
00:48:51,150 --> 00:48:52,790
And I don't know how she does it.

1267
00:48:52,790 --> 00:48:56,030
I don't know if there is
a bottle opener in there

1268
00:48:56,030 --> 00:48:59,030
or teeth, but it sprays all over the audience

1269
00:48:59,030 --> 00:49:00,950
brown, warm Coca-Cola.

1270
00:49:00,950 --> 00:49:03,630
And what's left of it she
pours back into her vagina,

1271
00:49:03,630 --> 00:49:05,670
squirts over the bottle and refills it

1272
00:49:05,670 --> 00:49:08,670
like a Coca-Cola bottling machine.

1273
00:49:08,670 --> 00:49:12,630
Then out comes the banana.

1274
00:49:12,630 --> 00:49:14,390
And she takes a few lame shots

1275
00:49:14,390 --> 00:49:16,150
like the Russian rockets
that are gonna sputter

1276
00:49:16,150 --> 00:49:18,230
and pop and land in our corn fields.

1277
00:49:18,230 --> 00:49:20,390
And for the finale she aims her vagina

1278
00:49:20,390 --> 00:49:22,510
down the main aisle like a great cannon,

1279
00:49:22,510 --> 00:49:26,190
loads it with a very ripe banana and thump,
fires it.

1280
00:49:26,190 --> 00:49:27,310
Almost hits me in the eye,

1281
00:49:27,310 --> 00:49:29,390
almost hits an Australian
housewife in the head,

1282
00:49:29,390 --> 00:49:32,510
hits the back wall and sticks.

1283
00:49:34,390 --> 00:49:39,390
And slowly it inches its
way down until it lands

1284
00:49:39,510 --> 00:49:44,110
and is devoured instantly
by an army of giant roaches.

1285
00:49:53,850 --> 00:49:58,650
April 12th,
1975 was the actual evacuation of Phnom Penh.

1286
00:49:59,220 --> 00:50:02,220
Lon Nol had long since fled to Hawaii.

1287
00:50:02,420 --> 00:50:06,420
Two million people in the
city now instead of 600,000.

1288
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:08,420
Khmer Rouge rockets coming in at random

1289
00:50:08,420 --> 00:50:10,420
and landing on hospitals,
kids in the streets,

1290
00:50:10,420 --> 00:50:11,420
schools, whatever.

1291
00:50:11,420 --> 00:50:14,420
American ambassador John Gunther Dean says,

1292
00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:15,420
we have two and a half hours,

1293
00:50:15,420 --> 00:50:17,420
all Cambodian officials and Americans,

1294
00:50:17,420 --> 00:50:19,420
two and a half hours to evacuate the country.

1295
00:50:19,420 --> 00:50:22,420
Cambodians say, two and a half hours,

1296
00:50:22,420 --> 00:50:26,420
two and a half hours, we're ruined.

1297
00:50:26,420 --> 00:50:28,420
How are we gonna convince the Russians

1298
00:50:28,420 --> 00:50:31,420
in two and a half hours
that we're socialists?

1299
00:50:31,420 --> 00:50:34,420
So this leaves behind
the Cambodian officials,

1300
00:50:34,420 --> 00:50:38,420
Long Bure, Lan Nan and Prince Sirik Matak.

1301
00:50:38,420 --> 00:50:42,420
Lon Nol had two brothers,
Lan Nan and Lan Nil.

1302
00:50:44,420 --> 00:50:46,420
Long Bure, Lan Nan and Prince Sirik Matak

1303
00:50:46,620 --> 00:50:47,620
decide to stay behind.

1304
00:50:47,620 --> 00:50:50,620
Prince Sirik Matak sends a letter

1305
00:50:50,620 --> 00:50:53,620
to the American ambassador telling him

1306
00:50:53,620 --> 00:50:58,620
that they've decided not to
go out with the evacuation.

1307
00:50:58,620 --> 00:51:02,620
He reads, dear excellency and friend,

1308
00:51:02,620 --> 00:51:05,620
I thank you very sincerely for your letter

1309
00:51:05,620 --> 00:51:08,620
and for your offer to
transport me toward freedom.

1310
00:51:08,620 --> 00:51:12,620
I cannot, alas,
leave in such a cowardly fashion.

1311
00:51:13,620 --> 00:51:16,620
As for you and in particular
for your great country,

1312
00:51:16,620 --> 00:51:18,620
I never believed for a
moment that you would have

1313
00:51:18,620 --> 00:51:20,620
the sentiment of abandoning a people

1314
00:51:20,620 --> 00:51:22,620
which has chosen liberty.

1315
00:51:22,620 --> 00:51:24,620
You have refused us your protection

1316
00:51:24,620 --> 00:51:26,320
and we can do nothing about it.

1317
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:30,520
You leave and it is my wish
that you and your country

1318
00:51:30,520 --> 00:51:33,520
will find happiness under the sky.

1319
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:37,520
But mark it well that if I
shall die here on the spot

1320
00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,520
and in the country that I love,

1321
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:45,520
it is too bad because we are
all born and must one day die.

1322
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:48,520
I have only committed this mistake

1323
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:51,520
of believing in you, the Americans.

1324
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:56,520
Please accept, excellency, my dear friend,

1325
00:51:56,520 --> 00:52:01,520
my faithful and friendly sentiments,
Sirik Matak.

1326
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,520
In five days later, all three of their livers

1327
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:08,520
were carried through the streets on sticks.

1328
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:10,520
The Americans took off in their helicopters.

1329
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:13,520
We took off.
We thought it was going to be like Da Nang

1330
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:15,520
with the Vietnamese riding and holding on

1331
00:52:15,520 --> 00:52:18,520
to the helicopter wheels,
but the Cambodians didn't.

1332
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:22,520
They just waved and went,
Okay, bye-bye.

1333
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,520
Okay, bye-bye.

1334
00:52:25,520 --> 00:52:27,520
Okay, bye-bye.

1335
00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:29,520
Okay, bye-bye.

1336
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:31,520
And as the last helicopter took off,

1337
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:33,520
a Khmer Rouge rocket came in

1338
00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:36,520
and killed one of the innocent bystanders.

1339
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,520
Five days later, April 17, 1975,

1340
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:44,520
Cambodia, year zero.

1341
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:47,520
The Khmer Rouge marched
in in their black pajamas.

1342
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:49,520
Lon Nol's army threw down their guns

1343
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:50,720
and raced to embrace them,

1344
00:52:50,720 --> 00:52:52,720
thinking that the country
would be reunited again.

1345
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:55,520
But the Khmer Rouge did not smile back.

1346
00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:57,820
They took strategic positions in the town.

1347
00:52:57,920 --> 00:52:59,920
Some of the kids who grew up in the jungle

1348
00:52:59,920 --> 00:53:01,920
and never saw cars before jumped in

1349
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,920
and started ramming them into first gear

1350
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:04,920
and getting stuck in first gear,

1351
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:06,320
driving into walls and trees.

1352
00:53:07,020 --> 00:53:09,020
And then the Khmer Rouge
systematically began

1353
00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:11,020
to empty the city of Phnom Penh.

1354
00:53:11,020 --> 00:53:12,020
Out, they said.

1355
00:53:12,020 --> 00:53:14,020
Everyone, out, out, out!

1356
00:53:14,020 --> 00:53:15,020
Into the fields, they say.

1357
00:53:15,020 --> 00:53:17,020
The Americans are going to bomb, they say.

1358
00:53:17,020 --> 00:53:18,020
There's no more food left.

1359
00:53:18,020 --> 00:53:20,020
When the people ask
who will provide for them,

1360
00:53:20,020 --> 00:53:21,020
they say, Anka!

1361
00:53:21,020 --> 00:53:23,020
Anka will provide.

1362
00:53:23,020 --> 00:53:25,020
Anka, like some perverse Wizard of Oz

1363
00:53:25,020 --> 00:53:27,020
Kafkaesque thunder cloud meant to rain down

1364
00:53:27,020 --> 00:53:29,020
manna on the people in the fields

1365
00:53:29,020 --> 00:53:30,320
and take nothing with you.

1366
00:53:30,620 --> 00:53:32,620
You had to go into the fields
with no possessions.

1367
00:53:32,820 --> 00:53:34,820
And then if you couldn't
walk her in the hospital,

1368
00:53:34,820 --> 00:53:36,820
they'd chuck you out the window.

1369
00:53:36,820 --> 00:53:37,820
Seven story, ten story,

1370
00:53:37,820 --> 00:53:39,820
kind of weird survival of the fittest.

1371
00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:41,820
And then the killing began.

1372
00:53:41,820 --> 00:53:43,820
Eyewitnesses said anyone
that was educated was killed.

1373
00:53:43,820 --> 00:53:45,820
Any civil servant was killed.

1374
00:53:45,820 --> 00:53:47,820
Anyone carrying their
own cooking pot was killed.

1375
00:53:47,820 --> 00:53:49,820
People wearing glasses would be killed.

1376
00:53:49,820 --> 00:53:51,820
The motto was,
better to kill an innocent person

1377
00:53:51,820 --> 00:53:53,820
than to leave an enemy alive.

1378
00:53:53,820 --> 00:53:55,820
Bum, bum, dead, dead.

1379
00:53:55,820 --> 00:53:57,820
Kids were doing the killing.

1380
00:53:57,820 --> 00:53:59,820
Ten, eleven, twelve years old.

1381
00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:01,820
They were too weak from
their diet from barks and bugs

1382
00:54:01,820 --> 00:54:03,820
and lizards and no more ammunition left.

1383
00:54:03,820 --> 00:54:05,820
So they were trying to knock in skulls

1384
00:54:05,820 --> 00:54:07,820
with these axe handles and hoe handles.

1385
00:54:07,820 --> 00:54:09,820
But they were too weak to knock them in.

1386
00:54:09,820 --> 00:54:11,820
So eyewitnesses said
the kids were taking bets

1387
00:54:11,820 --> 00:54:13,820
on how many whacks it
would take to knock in a skull.

1388
00:54:13,820 --> 00:54:14,820
And they were laughing.

1389
00:54:14,820 --> 00:54:17,520
A lot of laughter going on.
A lot of laughter.

1390
00:54:17,820 --> 00:54:19,820
And eyewitnesses said if
you pleaded for your life,

1391
00:54:19,820 --> 00:54:21,020
they would laugh harder.

1392
00:54:21,020 --> 00:54:22,520
If it was a woman pleading for her life,

1393
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:23,920
the kids would laugh even harder.

1394
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:26,020
And then they would take the half-dead bodies

1395
00:54:26,020 --> 00:54:27,920
and drag them into American bomb craters

1396
00:54:28,020 --> 00:54:30,720
which acted as a kind of
perfect shallow grave.

1397
00:54:31,620 --> 00:54:33,620
And it was a kind of
visitation of hell on earth.

1398
00:54:33,620 --> 00:54:35,620
Who needs metaphors for hell?

1399
00:54:35,620 --> 00:54:36,920
Or poetry about hell?

1400
00:54:37,020 --> 00:54:39,020
This actually happened here on this earth.

1401
00:54:39,420 --> 00:54:41,420
Pregnant mothers disemboweled,

1402
00:54:41,620 --> 00:54:43,220
eyes gouged out,

1403
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,320
kids, children torn apart like fresh bread

1404
00:54:45,420 --> 00:54:46,520
in front of their mothers.

1405
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,520
And this went on for years until

1406
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,875
two million people were either
systematically killed

1407
00:54:52,100 --> 00:54:54,720
or starved to death, by the same people

1408
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:58,020
and no one can really figure out how
something like that could have happened.

1409
00:54:58,020 --> 00:55:00,920
Certainly it could research
that other Holocaust in Germany.

1410
00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:03,120
Because people speak a lot of German

1411
00:55:03,320 --> 00:55:04,620
and read and write German.

1412
00:55:04,620 --> 00:55:06,920
And Hitler's either dead
or living in Argentina.

1413
00:55:07,420 --> 00:55:09,420
But Cambodia is far, far away.

1414
00:55:09,420 --> 00:55:11,120
And no one speaks enough Khmer.

1415
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,120
And Pol Pot is still alive

1416
00:55:13,220 --> 00:55:15,220
and waiting up here on
the Thai-Cambodian border

1417
00:55:15,820 --> 00:55:17,820
with 35,000 troops

1418
00:55:17,820 --> 00:55:19,620
supported by the Red Cross,

1419
00:55:19,620 --> 00:55:21,620
by the United Nations,
and by the United States of America.

1420
00:55:21,620 --> 00:55:23,620
Because so many people

1421
00:55:23,620 --> 00:55:25,620
would rather see him back in Cambodia

1422
00:55:25,620 --> 00:55:27,620
with his nationalist coalition rather than

1423
00:55:27,620 --> 00:55:29,620
the Vietnamese who were in there.

1424
00:55:29,620 --> 00:55:31,620
And they came in in 1979.

1425
00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:33,620
Some people,
the British particularly, saying that

1426
00:55:33,620 --> 00:55:35,620
it was a liberation. Others saying

1427
00:55:35,620 --> 00:55:37,620
it was a xenophobic piece of cake

1428
00:55:37,620 --> 00:55:39,620
just biting off Cambodia to protect

1429
00:55:39,620 --> 00:55:41,620
themselves from China.
And I get very confused.

1430
00:55:41,620 --> 00:55:43,620
And Roland Joffe came to me and said,

1431
00:55:43,620 --> 00:55:45,620
Spalding, I hope this film

1432
00:55:45,620 --> 00:55:47,620
has taught you that morality

1433
00:55:47,620 --> 00:55:49,620
is not a moveable feast.

1434
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:52,820
I get dizzy

1435
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:54,620
cause I keep seeing it

1436
00:55:54,620 --> 00:55:56,620
moving all the time.

1437
00:56:06,854 --> 00:56:09,405
Now, the last big scene
in the film,

1438
00:56:10,516 --> 00:56:12,317
or rather my last big scene,

1439
00:56:12,417 --> 00:56:15,060
which felt like the last big scene,
was here.

1440
00:56:15,060 --> 00:56:16,760
Remember, we're in

1441
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,760
Hua Hin, near Bangkok,

1442
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,760
on the Gulf of Siam.

1443
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,760
We are staying in the Pleasure Prison.

1444
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:24,760
It's in Hua Hin. We're not shooting there.

1445
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,760
But it's in that same town,

1446
00:56:26,760 --> 00:56:28,760
right in town in Hua Hin, is this

1447
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,760
old hotel that looks very much like the Hotel

1448
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:32,760
Phnom Penh, a Victorian hotel.

1449
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,760
I'm told it looked exactly like it,
except it didn't have a swimming

1450
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:36,760
pool and a tennis court. So the film

1451
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:38,760
built a swimming pool
and a tennis court to make

1452
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,760
the hotel authentic. Now,

1453
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:42,760
I'm playing the American Ambassador's aide,
and for my

1454
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:44,760
last scene,
all I have to do is simple is walk down

1455
00:56:44,760 --> 00:56:46,760
the steps. I'm leaking information to Sam

1456
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:48,760
Waterston, who's playing Sydney

1457
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:50,760
Schanberg. And I just have to say,

1458
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,760
a computer malfunction

1459
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,760
put out the wrong set of coordinates.

1460
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,760
Seems a single B-52 opened up over

1461
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,760
Nik Long. There's a homing beacon

1462
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:01,760
right in the middle of town. Check it
out, Sid.

1463
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:04,760
Easy enough for some

1464
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:06,760
actors. But for this,

1465
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,760
I cannot do stuff like this. This technical

1466
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,760
language is like doing algebra or geometry.

1467
00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:12,760
I have to make an internal

1468
00:57:12,760 --> 00:57:16,760
film, internal,
to memorize this, right?

1469
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:18,860
My own particular images.
So I'm starting to go through it.

1470
00:57:18,960 --> 00:57:20,560
A computer malfunction.

1471
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:22,760
I see a Macintosh with spaghetti coming

1472
00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:24,760
out of it. That works for me.

1473
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:26,760
Put out a wrong set of coordinates.

1474
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:28,760
I see an oscillator from 7th

1475
00:57:28,760 --> 00:57:30,760
grade science project.
I don't know whose it was,

1476
00:57:30,760 --> 00:57:32,760
but I remember a grid work oscillator.

1477
00:57:32,760 --> 00:57:34,760
Seems a single B-52. Well,

1478
00:57:34,760 --> 00:57:36,760
God,
I remember many B-52s from many a drunken

1479
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:38,760
dinner in front of the TV watching that war

1480
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:40,760
on television. Opened up over

1481
00:57:40,760 --> 00:57:42,760
Nik Long.

1482
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,760
I was having trouble with that one.

1483
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,060
It was a night shoot and I
was all discombobulated.

1484
00:57:47,060 --> 00:57:48,560
Nik Long was a strategic

1485
00:57:48,760 --> 00:57:51,260
fairy town in Cambodia that
had a homing beacon in it.

1486
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,760
Homing beacons aren't supposed to be

1487
00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,760
dangerous. They're just beacons that the planes

1488
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,760
take their coordinates
off of and the navigator

1489
00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:58,760
six miles up on that airborne holiday inn

1490
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:00,760
throws a switch and the bombs are dropped

1491
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,760
over the jungle by computer.

1492
00:58:02,760 --> 00:58:04,760
No one really drops the bombs. But this

1493
00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:06,760
particular day the navigator threw the wrong

1494
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:08,760
switch and dropped and
his entire load of bombs

1495
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:11,960
up the main street of Nik Long,
killing over 250 people.

1496
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:14,660
The navigator was fined $700

1497
00:58:14,760 --> 00:58:16,760
for his mistake. And Sydney

1498
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:18,760
Schanberg told me that
he heard about the mistake

1499
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,760
and went in to cover it
for the New York Times.

1500
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:22,760
But the American Embassy put a press

1501
00:58:22,760 --> 00:58:24,760
lock on Nik Long and didn't allow him in.

1502
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,760
So he snuck in. He bribed his way in

1503
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:28,760
with Dithbron. He got in there

1504
00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:30,760
he said he saw blood and hair all over the

1505
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:32,760
bushes and realized a lot
of people had been killed.

1506
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:34,760
Was about to get his
story out to the New York

1507
00:58:34,760 --> 00:58:36,760
Times when he was put under arrest by the

1508
00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:38,760
Cambodians and held at gunpoint.

1509
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:40,760
Now while he was under arrest, house

1510
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,760
arrest, in flies the American Embassy

1511
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:44,760
in a helicopter to give out $100 bills

1512
00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:46,760
to people who lost members of their family

1513
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:48,760
in $50 bills to people who had lost legs

1514
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:50,760
and arms in the bombing. And the Cambodians

1515
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,760
were grateful. Now Sydney told

1516
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:54,760
me that he thought he could probably safely

1517
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:56,760
walk out in front of the
American Embassy and not be

1518
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,760
shot. He wasn't sure. He started

1519
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,760
to walk and he said the
Cambodians started screaming

1520
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,760
and clicking the safeties on their guns

1521
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:04,760
and he said never before had he felt

1522
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:06,760
more alive in his life. Absolutely

1523
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:08,760
all the adrenaline going

1524
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:10,760
right on the edge of death. Absolutely

1525
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:12,760
totally utterly alive. Let's go

1526
00:59:12,760 --> 00:59:14,960
boys and girls. Take 64.

1527
00:59:15,160 --> 00:59:17,060
It's a night shoot and we're up to take 64.

1528
00:59:17,110 --> 00:59:18,910
Roland is really covering his ass

1529
00:59:18,910 --> 00:59:20,410
on this one. Alright?

1530
00:59:20,610 --> 00:59:22,610
A computer malfunction put out the wrong

1531
00:59:22,610 --> 00:59:24,610
set of coordinates.

1532
00:59:24,610 --> 00:59:26,610
By the way, I played one of those

1533
00:59:26,610 --> 00:59:28,610
American Embassy officials that

1534
00:59:28,610 --> 00:59:30,610
come in in the helicopters.
There was no way I was

1535
00:59:30,610 --> 00:59:32,610
going to get on a helicopter, right? But they

1536
00:59:32,610 --> 00:59:34,610
promised me that it would
just go up 10 feet and land.

1537
00:59:34,610 --> 00:59:36,610
They just wanted a shot of it landing.

1538
00:59:36,610 --> 00:59:38,610
So the AD said would the artist

1539
00:59:38,610 --> 00:59:40,610
please get on the choppers. Artist on the

1540
00:59:40,610 --> 00:59:42,610
helicopters please. Boom!

1541
00:59:42,610 --> 00:59:44,610
Right on like Pavlov's dog.
You know, call me an artist.

1542
00:59:44,610 --> 00:59:46,610
I am on.

1543
00:59:46,610 --> 00:59:48,610
Ready to go up. Up it goes.

1544
00:59:48,610 --> 00:59:50,610
Straight up.

1545
00:59:50,610 --> 00:59:52,610
The helicopter goes up a thousand feet.

1546
00:59:52,610 --> 00:59:54,610
Straight up. I'm looking down out the door.

1547
00:59:54,610 --> 00:59:56,610
There is no safety belt.
The door is wide open.

1548
00:59:56,610 --> 00:59:58,610
I felt like I was in a movie.

1549
00:59:58,610 --> 01:00:00,610
Then I thought I was in

1550
01:00:00,610 --> 01:00:02,610
apocalypse now.
I had nothing else to relate it to.

1551
01:00:02,610 --> 01:00:04,610
And then I realized I was

1552
01:00:04,610 --> 01:00:06,610
in a movie. They were shooting one.

1553
01:00:06,610 --> 01:00:08,610
I had no fear because the camera

1554
01:00:08,610 --> 01:00:10,610
eroticizes the space it aims at.

1555
01:00:10,610 --> 01:00:12,610
You know, it's like Colgate Gardol.

1556
01:00:12,610 --> 01:00:14,610
Somehow you know you're larger than life.

1557
01:00:14,610 --> 01:00:16,610
You'll be protected. Even if the helicopter

1558
01:00:16,610 --> 01:00:18,610
crashes,
I knew there would be rushes my friends

1559
01:00:18,610 --> 01:00:20,610
could show at New Year's Eve in the

1560
01:00:20,610 --> 01:00:22,610
performing garage. Something would

1561
01:00:22,610 --> 01:00:24,610
come of this. And after about

1562
01:00:24,610 --> 01:00:26,610
the sixth time up I looked out and see

1563
01:00:26,610 --> 01:00:28,610
my God, look how much of the

1564
01:00:28,610 --> 01:00:30,610
jungle this movie controls.

1565
01:00:30,610 --> 01:00:32,610
All the way up the Chao
Phrya River you could

1566
01:00:32,610 --> 01:00:34,610
see Thai peasants paid to put

1567
01:00:34,610 --> 01:00:36,610
burning rubber tires
on a fire to make it look

1568
01:00:36,610 --> 01:00:38,610
like a real war. And I thought of

1569
01:00:38,610 --> 01:00:40,610
course, war therapy.

1570
01:00:40,610 --> 01:00:42,610
Every country must

1571
01:00:42,610 --> 01:00:44,610
and should make a major motion

1572
01:00:44,610 --> 01:00:46,610
war film every year.

1573
01:00:46,610 --> 01:00:48,610
Put people to work, get the economy up,

1574
01:00:48,610 --> 01:00:50,610
get your rocks off, do an invasion,

1575
01:00:50,610 --> 01:00:52,610
a movie of invading Libya, skip the

1576
01:00:52,610 --> 01:00:54,610
invasion. You land. You don't have

1577
01:00:54,610 --> 01:00:56,610
to method act when those blades are going

1578
01:00:56,610 --> 01:00:58,610
over your head.
Bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah.

1579
01:00:58,610 --> 01:01:00,610
You're shouting. You don't have

1580
01:01:00,610 --> 01:01:02,610
to method act when you
look down and see Thai

1581
01:01:02,610 --> 01:01:04,610
peasants lying there for 12 hours

1582
01:01:04,610 --> 01:01:06,610
with chicken giblets and fake blood all

1583
01:01:06,610 --> 01:01:08,610
over them. They're getting paid $5

1584
01:01:08,610 --> 01:01:10,610
or a 12 hour day smiling back at

1585
01:01:10,610 --> 01:01:12,610
you. And if they're real amputees

1586
01:01:12,610 --> 01:01:14,610
they get $7.50

1587
01:01:14,610 --> 01:01:16,610
for the day. You don't have to act.

1588
01:01:16,610 --> 01:01:18,610
It's very much like the real event.

1589
01:01:18,610 --> 01:01:21,360
Let's go boys and girls. Take 65.

1590
01:01:23,210 --> 01:01:24,910
A computer malfunction

1591
01:01:24,910 --> 01:01:26,310
put out the wrong set of coordinates.

1592
01:01:26,310 --> 01:01:28,310
Seems a single B-52

1593
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:30,310
opened up over Nik Long.

1594
01:01:30,310 --> 01:01:32,310
There's a...

1595
01:01:32,310 --> 01:01:34,310
I didn't get the image.

1596
01:01:34,310 --> 01:01:36,310
I didn't get the image for homing beacon

1597
01:01:36,310 --> 01:01:38,310
and I just blanked and I went there's a

1598
01:01:38,310 --> 01:01:40,310
there's a housing device right in

1599
01:01:40,310 --> 01:01:42,310
the middle of town. Cut.

1600
01:01:42,310 --> 01:01:44,310
I knew... listen please. I knew

1601
01:01:44,310 --> 01:01:46,310
I should have never drank
that booze and had the

1602
01:01:46,310 --> 01:01:48,310
marijuana the night before.
How unprofessional.

1603
01:01:48,310 --> 01:01:50,310
My, my, my, my, my concentration

1604
01:01:50,310 --> 01:01:52,310
was... but Roland Joffe told me

1605
01:01:52,310 --> 01:01:54,310
my character would be drinking a lot,
you understand?

1606
01:01:54,310 --> 01:01:56,310
So I thought I was in character.

1607
01:01:56,310 --> 01:01:58,310
You would be amazed
what people did in this film

1608
01:01:58,310 --> 01:02:00,310
to get in character. Let's go boys

1609
01:02:00,310 --> 01:02:02,510
and girls. Take 66.

1610
01:02:02,510 --> 01:02:04,210
At last I got the image

1611
01:02:04,310 --> 01:02:06,310
for it. For the homing beacon I saw

1612
01:02:06,310 --> 01:02:08,310
a pigeon, a homing pigeon

1613
01:02:08,310 --> 01:02:10,310
flying toward a beacon

1614
01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:12,310
in a children's story book, a little

1615
01:02:12,310 --> 01:02:14,310
lighthouse. Alright? I've got it.

1616
01:02:14,310 --> 01:02:16,310
Let's go. Take 66.

1617
01:02:17,310 --> 01:02:20,310
A computer malfunction put
out the wrong set of coordinates.

1618
01:02:20,310 --> 01:02:22,310
Seems a single B-52

1619
01:02:22,310 --> 01:02:24,310
opened up over Nik Long. There's a...

1620
01:02:26,310 --> 01:02:28,310
I knew it didn't matter what I was

1621
01:02:28,310 --> 01:02:30,310
thinking because the audience
would just project on the screen

1622
01:02:30,310 --> 01:02:32,310
but they were thinking it's all about
projection as long as I had an idea

1623
01:02:32,310 --> 01:02:34,310
there's a homing beacon

1624
01:02:34,310 --> 01:02:36,310
right in the middle of town.

1625
01:02:36,310 --> 01:02:38,310
Check it out, Sid.

1626
01:02:42,860 --> 01:02:44,860
Alright, you've heard of pilot error?

1627
01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:46,860
Computer malfunction?

1628
01:02:46,860 --> 01:02:48,860
They screwed up on the coordinates.

1629
01:02:48,860 --> 01:02:50,860
A single B-52 dropped its

1630
01:02:50,860 --> 01:02:52,860
entire load on Nik Long.

1631
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:56,360
There's a homing beacon
in the middle of the town.

1632
01:02:57,660 --> 01:02:59,660
Check it out, Sid.

1633
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:05,500
The entire crew burst into applause.

1634
01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:09,560
66 takes later and five hours into the night

1635
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:11,560
we have finished with my first scene

1636
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,560
and my last scene of the movie,
their first scene of the evening.

1637
01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:15,560
They're going till dawn.

1638
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,560
I am told that all of what I did that night

1639
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:19,560
if it was processed and the crew was paid

1640
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,560
it would cost $30,000.

1641
01:03:21,560 --> 01:03:23,960
When I get back to New
York City I am called in

1642
01:03:24,060 --> 01:03:26,660
to re-dub the entire scene

1643
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:29,560
because of the sound of crickets.

1644
01:03:34,435 --> 01:03:36,435
But the film is over for me.

1645
01:03:36,460 --> 01:03:39,380
I am finished and Renee flies back to America

1646
01:03:39,380 --> 01:03:41,380
to give her man some space,

1647
01:03:41,380 --> 01:03:44,180
to give her man some room
to have his perfect moment.

1648
01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:46,780
And I hear that the film is relocating

1649
01:03:46,780 --> 01:03:48,580
to this magical island, Phuket,

1650
01:03:48,580 --> 01:03:51,180
here in the Indian Ocean off
the southern coast of Thailand.

1651
01:03:51,280 --> 01:03:52,680
And I hear everyone's going down there

1652
01:03:52,680 --> 01:03:54,680
and they serve you magic
mushrooms for breakfast

1653
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:56,480
and an omelet whether you order them or not.

1654
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,480
I thought if I don't have
an organic perfect moment

1655
01:03:58,480 --> 01:03:59,680
I will induce one.

1656
01:03:59,980 --> 01:04:02,780
So it's off to Phuket and
I ask if I can come along.

1657
01:04:02,780 --> 01:04:03,880
They tell me no, I can't.

1658
01:04:03,880 --> 01:04:05,180
I don't have a private driver anymore

1659
01:04:05,180 --> 01:04:06,180
because I'm not with the film.

1660
01:04:06,180 --> 01:04:07,880
But if I'd like to come
along it's all right

1661
01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:09,280
to ride on the artist's bus.

1662
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:11,280
Fine! I hear I have to get up
at 5 in the morning.

1663
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:13,280
It's a 15 hour trip on a dirt road.

1664
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:15,980
I get up, I get on this
old converted greyhound.

1665
01:04:15,980 --> 01:04:17,880
There's no artist I've ever
seen on that before.

1666
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:19,280
I don't recognize any artist.

1667
01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:20,480
It's mainly crew.

1668
01:04:20,505 --> 01:04:25,305
In the front row, Uberto Pasolini,
of the Pasolini Banking and film family.

1669
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:28,480
He's dropped out of banking at
28 years old to carry orangeade

1670
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:30,980
for the killing fields to work
his way up as a producer.

1671
01:04:30,980 --> 01:04:32,980
He is sitting in the
very front row of the bus

1672
01:04:32,980 --> 01:04:35,580
pretending his head is a
35 millimeter camera

1673
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:38,080
and he's practicing pans
of that meaningless jungle

1674
01:04:38,380 --> 01:04:40,580
for the entire 15 hours, right.

1675
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:41,980
He's happy.

1676
01:04:42,180 --> 01:04:45,080
Next to him are the Cambodian
refugees from Long Beach.

1677
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:48,780
Social workers because Pol
Pot killed all the Cambodian actors

1678
01:04:48,780 --> 01:04:50,780
and they had to hire social
workers from Long Beach

1679
01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:51,880
to play small roles.

1680
01:04:52,180 --> 01:04:54,180
Next to me on my left is
the British cook

1681
01:04:54,180 --> 01:04:56,580
who's saying, Spalding, what's going on here?

1682
01:04:56,580 --> 01:04:58,180
Where's your private driver?

1683
01:04:58,180 --> 01:05:00,180
I would complain to
British Equity if I were you.

1684
01:05:00,180 --> 01:05:02,180
I said, well,
I'm not really with the film anymore.

1685
01:05:02,180 --> 01:05:04,180
Oh, on for a freebie, are you?

1686
01:05:04,180 --> 01:05:06,180
Well, that's good if you can get it.

1687
01:05:06,180 --> 01:05:08,180
15 hours later,
which is a whole other monologue

1688
01:05:08,180 --> 01:05:10,180
unto itself, we arrive at Phuket

1689
01:05:10,180 --> 01:05:12,580
and we're staying in the rattiest old hotel

1690
01:05:12,580 --> 01:05:15,280
so far, the Phuket Merlin.

1691
01:05:15,380 --> 01:05:17,780
And we have two days off in a row

1692
01:05:17,980 --> 01:05:19,980
because we've worked so hard, and we hear

1693
01:05:20,180 --> 01:05:22,380
that Shangri-La exists,
the most beautiful beach

1694
01:05:22,380 --> 01:05:24,380
in the world,
and a bunch of us rent a tuk-tuk

1695
01:05:24,380 --> 01:05:26,080
and go down there through those winding

1696
01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:28,080
down 20-minute drive-through rice patties

1697
01:05:28,080 --> 01:05:30,080
and water buffalo, and we come out

1698
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:32,380
on this exquisite beach.

1699
01:05:32,380 --> 01:05:34,080
I was unprepared for it.

1700
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:36,080
I mean, there was no

1701
01:05:36,080 --> 01:05:38,080
flotsam, there was no jetsam,

1702
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:40,080
there were no tourists, there were no

1703
01:05:40,080 --> 01:05:42,080
beer cans, no trash bags,

1704
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:44,080
just beach and huge Indian

1705
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:46,080
ocean pounding on under black

1706
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:48,080
monsoon skies, white

1707
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,080
sea birds blowing sideways,

1708
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:52,080
ratty palm trees ripping in the wind,

1709
01:05:52,080 --> 01:05:54,080
rainbows arching. It was a

1710
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:56,080
number nine on a scale of one to ten

1711
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:58,080
for perfect moments. It was fantastic.

1712
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,080
Down the far end of the beach, water

1713
01:06:00,080 --> 01:06:02,080
buffalo posing like they were stuffed in the

1714
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:04,080
mist, and Ivan, Ivan

1715
01:06:04,080 --> 01:06:06,080
Strasburg, devil in my ear,
the two of us, like

1716
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:08,080
the two kids, charge right into that water.

1717
01:06:08,080 --> 01:06:10,080
The others go down to have brunch.

1718
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,080
It is fantastic. Body temperature.

1719
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:14,080
I am going, oh, oh, shit, my money!

1720
01:06:14,080 --> 01:06:16,080
Oh, fuck, Ivan, I've got $600

1721
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:18,080
worth of Thai baht in my ocean briefs.

1722
01:06:18,080 --> 01:06:20,080
I've got to put it in the hotel.
What will I do with it?

1723
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:22,080
I was saving up my per
diem just in case I didn't

1724
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:24,080
have a perfect moment,
I would buy one to get out

1725
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:25,680
of there. What do I do with it, Ivan?
He says,

1726
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:27,680
oh, Spalding, just put it up on
the beach there with my cameras,

1727
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,680
man, on the high part of the beach.

1728
01:06:29,680 --> 01:06:31,680
And we start into the water again,
you know, and he turns

1729
01:06:31,680 --> 01:06:33,680
to me and he says, you know,
in Africa, I put my cameras

1730
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:35,680
up there on the beach and the
natives would run right out of the

1731
01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:37,680
jungle and steal them.
What are you going to do?

1732
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:39,680
Chase the natives back into the jungle?

1733
01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,680
So I was a little bit back
and forth with my money,

1734
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:43,980
you know, a little nervous, not sure

1735
01:06:43,980 --> 01:06:46,180
about Ivan, and we started a little further,

1736
01:06:46,180 --> 01:06:48,480
and he goes, Spalding, man, stay, stay.

1737
01:06:48,480 --> 01:06:49,980
On the next day off, I'm going to take you

1738
01:06:49,980 --> 01:06:51,880
scuba diving. You'll have rapture

1739
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:53,580
of the deep, man. You'll see fish the

1740
01:06:53,580 --> 01:06:55,480
color you've never seen before. It is

1741
01:06:55,480 --> 01:06:57,480
fantastic. And I've never

1742
01:06:57,480 --> 01:06:59,480
been scuba diving. In all my life,

1743
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:01,480
I've wanted to do,
I thought, this is it,

1744
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:03,780
this is a mission. It's not just a film

1745
01:07:03,780 --> 01:07:05,980
that I was here for, it's all coming together now

1746
01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:07,880
Look, I'm basically

1747
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:09,880
a very fearful person.

1748
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,880
I call it phobic. I'm a phobic person

1749
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:13,680
and sharks and bears are at the

1750
01:07:13,680 --> 01:07:15,780
top of the list. I mean, I swim

1751
01:07:15,780 --> 01:07:17,880
like this, oh, oh, oh,

1752
01:07:17,880 --> 01:07:19,480
so they can't get a grip, you know.

1753
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:21,780
I swim really fast.
I check out swimming pools

1754
01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:23,480
before I go in them. So,

1755
01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:25,480
what I need is a man that I trust

1756
01:07:25,480 --> 01:07:27,480
that can guide me through these phobias

1757
01:07:27,480 --> 01:07:29,480
so I can get in touch with
rapture of the deep. I need

1758
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:31,480
a guru, a scuba guru.

1759
01:07:31,480 --> 01:07:33,480
Ivan is going to be my scuba guru

1760
01:07:33,480 --> 01:07:35,480
and then Ivan turns to me and says,

1761
01:07:35,480 --> 01:07:37,480
Spalding man, beware, because

1762
01:07:37,480 --> 01:07:39,880
there are these stonefish, eh?

1763
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:41,480
And if you step on one,

1764
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,780
you're dead in seven seconds.

1765
01:07:43,780 --> 01:07:45,120
No remedy, man, eh?

1766
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:46,920
So wear your sneakers.

1767
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:50,280
Ah, here's a bit of a sadist
playing into my masochism.

1768
01:07:50,280 --> 01:07:51,600
I'm not saying I'm not inviting it,

1769
01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:53,400
but by now he's out in the high surf,

1770
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:55,400
calling into me, Spalding man,

1771
01:07:55,400 --> 01:07:57,800
I see you like the little waves, man.

1772
01:07:57,800 --> 01:07:59,280
Come out in the high waves, man.

1773
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:01,420
And I am so terrified, the water,

1774
01:08:01,420 --> 01:08:04,440
my heart is in my throat,
this rolling, roaring surf.

1775
01:08:04,440 --> 01:08:06,600
Also I don't feel as though
I deserve to be there.

1776
01:08:06,600 --> 01:08:08,880
This is my, instead of pinching myself

1777
01:08:08,880 --> 01:08:09,800
to prove that I'm there,

1778
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:12,480
I'm running down the beach to look back,
to see myself,

1779
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:14,000
and I run down the beach and look back

1780
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:15,640
and miss myself every time,

1781
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:17,040
and down the beach and back,

1782
01:08:17,040 --> 01:08:18,440
and down the beach and back,

1783
01:08:18,440 --> 01:08:19,880
and down the beach and back,

1784
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:21,760
and the third time back,

1785
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:26,760
Ivan is gone, and I go,
oh no, oh shit, oh fuck,

1786
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:31,280
oh he's drowned,
I can't believe this is happening to me.

1787
01:08:31,280 --> 01:08:32,480
I don't believe it.

1788
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:34,540
People do drown, I've read about it.

1789
01:08:34,540 --> 01:08:36,160
We got a notice under our door saying,

1790
01:08:36,160 --> 01:08:37,680
be careful when you swim at Phuket

1791
01:08:37,680 --> 01:08:39,560
because of the rip tides.

1792
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:41,720
Oh no, and the first thing
that went through my head,

1793
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:42,880
and I'm telling you, it went so fast,

1794
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:44,640
I can't even speak as
fast as the images went,

1795
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,200
the first rationalization that
went through my head was,

1796
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:51,300
of course,
making a film about this much death,

1797
01:08:51,300 --> 01:08:54,760
some real person actually has to go.

1798
01:08:54,760 --> 01:08:56,600
The next thing that went through my head was,

1799
01:08:56,600 --> 01:08:58,800
it's not my fault, not mine.

1800
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:00,400
Nope, he was suicidal.

1801
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:02,880
The next thing that went
through my head was quickly,

1802
01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,040
find the most responsible man you can.

1803
01:09:05,040 --> 01:09:07,120
There was no way I was
going out in that high surf,

1804
01:09:07,160 --> 01:09:09,760
and the man that occurred
to me was John Swain,

1805
01:09:09,760 --> 01:09:12,200
the Paris correspondent in the London Times,

1806
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,920
who had been in Phnom Penh
when the Khmer Rouge marched in,

1807
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,720
and perhaps the most
narcissistic of the reporters,

1808
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,400
had come to watch himself be played

1809
01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:21,360
by Julian Sands in the movie.

1810
01:09:21,360 --> 01:09:22,880
So he happened to be there at brunch,

1811
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:27,880
and I just went, John,
John Swain, come quickly,

1812
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:34,200
I can't see Ivaaaaaaaaaan!

1813
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:37,480
And everyone slowly put down their chopsticks

1814
01:09:37,480 --> 01:09:39,600
at that brunch and charged.

1815
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,160
Some came through the swamp,

1816
01:09:41,160 --> 01:09:43,200
some came over the bridge over the swamp.

1817
01:09:43,200 --> 01:09:45,880
Judy Arthur, the publicist,
was the first to reach the beach.

1818
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:47,600
I found out later that she was a lifeguard

1819
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:49,040
in a past incarnation,

1820
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:50,920
and had the good sense
to run on the high part

1821
01:09:50,920 --> 01:09:51,740
of the beach.

1822
01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:53,400
I was down by the dip of the lip of the water

1823
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:54,440
and couldn't see out.

1824
01:09:54,440 --> 01:09:56,880
I was down there with my
knees shaking about to vomit,

1825
01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:58,040
and people were around me going,

1826
01:09:58,040 --> 01:09:59,480
don't worry, Spalding, don't worry,

1827
01:09:59,480 --> 01:10:00,960
he won't have drowned, he'll be all right.

1828
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:04,440
He can't have drowned,
he's from South Africa.

1829
01:10:04,440 --> 01:10:06,120
And meanwhile, I'm trying to interpret this,

1830
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:09,000
meanwhile,
Judy Arthur spots him bobbing out there.

1831
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,580
He's rode a rip, this guy knows how to ride

1832
01:10:11,580 --> 01:10:13,880
a riptide for fun and circle back in,

1833
01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:15,520
and he comes in, she calls him in,

1834
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:17,280
and I go, Ivan, no,

1835
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:19,720
I'm never going swimming with you again.

1836
01:10:21,280 --> 01:10:23,200
How could you ever do anything like this?

1837
01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:24,560
And he says, I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry,

1838
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:25,800
you mustn't worry, Spalding.

1839
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:27,640
I had no idea that you were looking for me,

1840
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:29,720
but don't worry,
I would never have drowned, man.

1841
01:10:29,720 --> 01:10:31,520
I'm from South Africa.

1842
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:36,680
So everyone goes back to the brunch,

1843
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:39,240
and they leave Ivan and I
standing there by the ocean,

1844
01:10:39,240 --> 01:10:41,200
and he looks up at me and he says,

1845
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:44,720
by the way, Spalding,
when you called, how many came?

1846
01:10:47,400 --> 01:10:49,260
Did Judy Freeman come, mon?

1847
01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:54,780
Yes, Judy Freeman came, Judy Arthur came,

1848
01:10:55,860 --> 01:10:57,140
all the Judies came.

1849
01:10:59,330 --> 01:11:01,810
The next day off,
there was no doubting where we were going.

1850
01:11:01,810 --> 01:11:04,290
Down to Caron Beach, it was fantastic.

1851
01:11:04,290 --> 01:11:06,870
Ivan passed me a Thai stick,
I took a few tokes,

1852
01:11:06,870 --> 01:11:09,090
I didn't care if my Kundalini
got loose on the beach

1853
01:11:09,090 --> 01:11:10,570
and went wild, even ran away,

1854
01:11:10,570 --> 01:11:11,850
I never wanted to see it again.

1855
01:11:11,850 --> 01:11:13,690
A little mild paranoia came over me.

1856
01:11:13,690 --> 01:11:15,290
Where to hide my money this time?

1857
01:11:15,290 --> 01:11:17,210
I began to dig holes in the sand.

1858
01:11:17,210 --> 01:11:19,130
Then I thought, no,
under the rubber mat in the truck,

1859
01:11:19,130 --> 01:11:20,450
and I thought, you know, Spalding,

1860
01:11:20,450 --> 01:11:22,650
thinking this much about hiding your money

1861
01:11:22,650 --> 01:11:24,650
is putting out waves the Thais can read.

1862
01:11:24,690 --> 01:11:26,450
Let them have it, leave it on the beach

1863
01:11:26,450 --> 01:11:27,850
where anyone can take it.

1864
01:11:27,850 --> 01:11:30,450
By now, Ivan is out in the highways going,

1865
01:11:30,450 --> 01:11:33,690
Spalding, mon,
you don't know what it is to be a mon yet,

1866
01:11:33,690 --> 01:11:36,330
mon, until you get out in the big waves, mon.

1867
01:11:36,330 --> 01:11:39,590
And I thought,
I'm gonna be a mon today if it kills me.

1868
01:11:39,790 --> 01:11:41,690
And I'm starting out a little
further and a little further

1869
01:11:41,690 --> 01:11:44,290
and I'm seeing hallucinations
of gray sharks all around me

1870
01:11:44,290 --> 01:11:45,950
and every time I think of a shark biting me,

1871
01:11:46,050 --> 01:11:48,070
I feel all the anxiety come
together in my stomach

1872
01:11:48,070 --> 01:11:50,190
and go out the top of
my head in a gray arrow

1873
01:11:50,190 --> 01:11:51,610
that lands on my money.

1874
01:11:51,810 --> 01:11:53,690
And every time I think
about being bitten by a shark,

1875
01:11:53,790 --> 01:11:55,110
I think of my money being stolen

1876
01:11:55,110 --> 01:11:56,670
and suddenly I have no fear

1877
01:11:56,670 --> 01:11:59,150
and I'm getting further
and further out in that ocean

1878
01:11:59,150 --> 01:12:00,750
and further and further out

1879
01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:02,150
until I'm further out in that ocean

1880
01:12:02,150 --> 01:12:04,350
than I've ever been in any ocean in my life.

1881
01:12:04,350 --> 01:12:07,990
I am beyond Ivan even.

1882
01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:10,070
I can tell I'm further out
because of the view of the shore.

1883
01:12:10,070 --> 01:12:11,950
I've never had a view like that before.

1884
01:12:11,950 --> 01:12:13,310
And suddenly there is no fear

1885
01:12:13,310 --> 01:12:15,310
because there is no body to bite.

1886
01:12:15,310 --> 01:12:16,750
There are no more outlines.

1887
01:12:16,750 --> 01:12:17,670
There's no means.

1888
01:12:17,670 --> 01:12:21,190
There's this great body temperature,
Indian Ocean,

1889
01:12:21,190 --> 01:12:23,310
this great, warm Indian Ocean

1890
01:12:23,310 --> 01:12:28,030
with this smiling,
baffling pumpkin head perceiver on top.

1891
01:12:28,030 --> 01:12:30,830
And up the ocean goes
and up the perceiver goes

1892
01:12:30,830 --> 01:12:33,830
and down the ocean goes
and down the perceiver goes

1893
01:12:33,830 --> 01:12:35,950
and wall of water comes
up around the perceiver

1894
01:12:35,950 --> 01:12:37,630
and the perceiver looks both ways.

1895
01:12:37,630 --> 01:12:39,310
It could be in the middle
of the Indian Ocean,

1896
01:12:39,310 --> 01:12:40,790
no land in sight.

1897
01:12:40,790 --> 01:12:43,070
And wall of water goes
down and lifts the perceiver

1898
01:12:43,070 --> 01:12:45,510
and the perceiver looks
down a great bank of water,

1899
01:12:45,510 --> 01:12:48,070
far below John Swain and Judy Arthur,

1900
01:12:48,070 --> 01:12:50,910
body surfing like an Hawaiian travel poster.

1901
01:12:51,630 --> 01:12:53,110
And wall of water lifts the perceiver

1902
01:12:53,110 --> 01:12:55,150
and suddenly a human voice wakes it

1903
01:12:55,150 --> 01:12:56,430
and brings it back in time.

1904
01:12:56,430 --> 01:13:00,590
It's Ivan calling, Spalding man,
come back, come back.

1905
01:13:00,590 --> 01:13:03,310
I haven't tested those waters yet.

1906
01:13:03,310 --> 01:13:06,870
And boom, ah, I'm back in time.

1907
01:13:06,870 --> 01:13:08,230
I'm back in fear.

1908
01:13:08,230 --> 01:13:10,150
And I'm swimming into Ivan water

1909
01:13:10,150 --> 01:13:12,590
pouring through my nose
saying it was fantastic, Ivan.

1910
01:13:12,590 --> 01:13:13,830
I mean, it was a perfect moment.

1911
01:13:13,830 --> 01:13:15,190
It was fantastic.

1912
01:13:15,190 --> 01:13:16,030
And he says, Spalding,

1913
01:13:16,030 --> 01:13:17,510
I have to go out and test those waters.

1914
01:13:17,510 --> 01:13:19,030
Now he swims out to where I was

1915
01:13:19,070 --> 01:13:20,710
and I'm back with water
pouring through his nose

1916
01:13:20,710 --> 01:13:22,150
going Spalding, Spalding.

1917
01:13:22,150 --> 01:13:25,510
I almost drowned man.

1918
01:13:25,510 --> 01:13:27,150
I came this close to drowning.

1919
01:13:27,150 --> 01:13:29,710
Now I know the experience of drowning man.

1920
01:13:29,710 --> 01:13:31,430
And I thought, oh shit.

1921
01:13:32,550 --> 01:13:36,190
Now I'm gonna have to
go out and almost drown.

1922
01:13:36,190 --> 01:13:37,950
I'll be damned if I'll be caught

1923
01:13:37,950 --> 01:13:40,630
in this male competitive trap.

1924
01:13:40,630 --> 01:13:45,230
I know what Ivan's idea
of a perfect moment is.

1925
01:13:45,230 --> 01:13:46,350
It's death.

1926
01:13:49,910 --> 01:13:52,950
So having had my perfect moment, I swam in.

1927
01:13:52,950 --> 01:13:55,110
Now elated from having had it depressed,

1928
01:13:55,110 --> 01:13:56,550
knowing that I had to go home,

1929
01:13:56,550 --> 01:13:58,110
I went and searched for my audience

1930
01:13:58,110 --> 01:13:59,430
to tell the perfect moment too,

1931
01:13:59,430 --> 01:14:01,710
which is almost as important as having it.

1932
01:14:01,710 --> 01:14:04,750
Athel Fugard, my new father confessor,

1933
01:14:04,750 --> 01:14:07,590
the most fantastic
audience back at the hotel.

1934
01:14:07,590 --> 01:14:09,470
Athel who had just given up drinking

1935
01:14:09,470 --> 01:14:10,630
and I think to some extent

1936
01:14:10,630 --> 01:14:12,830
was living vicariously through me.

1937
01:14:12,830 --> 01:14:14,670
At the end of every day would say,

1938
01:14:14,670 --> 01:14:18,390
Spalding, come, come to the bar.

1939
01:14:18,390 --> 01:14:21,190
I'll buy you a beer, I'll have an orange.

1940
01:14:21,190 --> 01:14:22,750
Tell me about your day.

1941
01:14:24,750 --> 01:14:26,110
And at first I wanted to tell him

1942
01:14:26,110 --> 01:14:29,710
about my new theory of
displacement of anxiety.

1943
01:14:29,710 --> 01:14:33,270
And I said Athel, Athel, Athel, Athel.

1944
01:14:33,270 --> 01:14:35,590
If ever you lack the courage to do something

1945
01:14:35,590 --> 01:14:37,070
and you need that courage,

1946
01:14:37,070 --> 01:14:39,230
just take a big pile of money

1947
01:14:39,230 --> 01:14:41,630
and leave it somewhere
where it can be stolen

1948
01:14:41,630 --> 01:14:43,190
and go do that thing.

1949
01:14:45,670 --> 01:14:46,930
Then I told him about my perfect moment

1950
01:14:46,930 --> 01:14:48,470
in the Indian Ocean and he listened,

1951
01:14:48,970 --> 01:14:51,730
raising an eyebrow and
putting his pipe down.

1952
01:14:51,730 --> 01:14:53,450
He turned to me and said,

1953
01:14:53,450 --> 01:14:58,450
Spalding, the sea's a lovely lady

1954
01:14:58,930 --> 01:15:01,250
when you play in her.

1955
01:15:01,250 --> 01:15:05,930
But if you play with her, she is a bitch.

1956
01:15:05,930 --> 01:15:10,330
Play in the sea, yes,
but never play with her.

1957
01:15:10,330 --> 01:15:12,570
You're lucky to be here.

1958
01:15:12,570 --> 01:15:15,170
You're lucky to be alive.

1959
01:15:17,690 --> 01:15:22,130
I believed him and I went to bed and slept

1960
01:15:22,130 --> 01:15:24,530
like a kid again in Jerusalem, Rhode Island.

1961
01:15:24,530 --> 01:15:28,410
The entire bed rocking,
sand in the bottom of the bed,

1962
01:15:28,410 --> 01:15:32,050
wrapped in the arms of the sea,
fantastic sleep.

1963
01:15:33,210 --> 01:15:35,330
And the following day I got up

1964
01:15:35,330 --> 01:15:37,410
and a little kid was raging inside of me

1965
01:15:37,410 --> 01:15:39,450
and the adult was there
too saying I should go home

1966
01:15:39,450 --> 01:15:40,770
and the little kid is going more and more,

1967
01:15:40,770 --> 01:15:43,290
I get more, where that came from,
stay, stay, stay

1968
01:15:43,290 --> 01:15:45,090
and the adult is going,
I've had my perfect moment,

1969
01:15:45,090 --> 01:15:46,330
it's time to go.

1970
01:15:46,370 --> 01:15:48,010
And I thought how will I get out of here?

1971
01:15:48,010 --> 01:15:49,170
How will I be decisive?

1972
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:51,930
And I thought, you know,
maybe I'll try acting

1973
01:15:51,930 --> 01:15:53,410
like a decisive man.

1974
01:15:53,410 --> 01:15:56,210
If I can't be one, I'll act like one.

1975
01:15:56,210 --> 01:15:58,930
And I went out of the hotel and said goodbye

1976
01:15:58,930 --> 01:16:03,050
to all my mates as though I were going.

1977
01:16:05,690 --> 01:16:09,890
Goodbye mate,
we'll work together again one day.

1978
01:16:12,270 --> 01:16:16,770
Hey,
you better believe I believe in this film.

1979
01:16:18,930 --> 01:16:20,130
Fucking A.

1980
01:16:21,130 --> 01:16:22,950
Hey big guy, look out for those whores

1981
01:16:22,950 --> 01:16:24,830
and don't you drink too much,
we'll meet again.

1982
01:16:25,430 --> 01:16:26,478
All right.

1983
01:16:27,103 --> 01:16:28,750
I got to Athol Fugard

1984
01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,190
and he looked right through me.

1985
01:16:30,290 --> 01:16:35,290
So Spalding,
you're leaving paradise after all.

1986
01:16:35,290 --> 01:16:37,170
I said Athol, you know,
I woke up this morning,

1987
01:16:37,170 --> 01:16:39,190
I was thinking I was eating
magic mushrooms... [gibberish]

1988
01:16:39,290 --> 01:16:40,283
Spalding.

1989
01:16:40,908 --> 01:16:45,210
Go back to Renee,
she's a lovely lady.

1990
01:16:45,770 --> 01:16:49,730
Take what you've learned here
in Thailand back to Krumville.

1991
01:16:52,050 --> 01:16:55,770
There is no difference
between Thailand and Krumville.

1992
01:16:57,650 --> 01:16:58,970
I wanted to believe him.

1993
01:16:59,890 --> 01:17:02,090
I also wondered who he'd been studying with.

1994
01:17:04,730 --> 01:17:05,570
So I did it.

1995
01:17:06,490 --> 01:17:09,290
I got in the car for the
final ride to the airport

1996
01:17:10,170 --> 01:17:12,050
and as I was riding, I felt like I was going

1997
01:17:12,050 --> 01:17:14,170
to the gallows, I couldn't believe it.

1998
01:17:14,170 --> 01:17:15,010
Why was I doing this?

1999
01:17:15,010 --> 01:17:17,690
Why did I feel mainly,
why did I feel so inflated?

2000
01:17:17,690 --> 01:17:20,210
I'd been there eight weeks
and I'd worked eight days,

2001
01:17:20,210 --> 01:17:22,330
was waiting that difficult,
I felt all puffed up,

2002
01:17:22,330 --> 01:17:23,610
but on the way I thought, my God,

2003
01:17:23,610 --> 01:17:25,490
I will never see a little
piece of heaven like this

2004
01:17:25,490 --> 01:17:27,610
again, this is the end.

2005
01:17:27,610 --> 01:17:30,370
And as I was riding,
I said a silent benediction,

2006
01:17:30,370 --> 01:17:32,770
a silent farewell to all that I had had

2007
01:17:32,810 --> 01:17:36,690
and would miss,
farewell to the fantastic breakfast,

2008
01:17:36,690 --> 01:17:38,490
free every morning, you walk down in there,

2009
01:17:38,490 --> 01:17:40,650
they are waiting on you with the papaya,
mango,

2010
01:17:40,650 --> 01:17:44,210
and pineapple like I'd never tasted before.

2011
01:17:44,210 --> 01:17:47,690
Farewell to the Thai
maids with the king-sized

2012
01:17:47,690 --> 01:17:49,610
cotton sheets and the big king-sized bed.

2013
01:17:49,610 --> 01:17:52,370
Farewell to the lunches, fresh meat

2014
01:17:52,370 --> 01:17:54,890
flown in from America daily,

2015
01:17:54,890 --> 01:17:57,850
roast potatoes, green beans, and roast lamb

2016
01:17:57,850 --> 01:18:00,410
at 110 degrees under a circus tent

2017
01:18:00,410 --> 01:18:01,890
according to British equity.

2018
01:18:02,810 --> 01:18:05,250
Farewell to the drivers
with the tinted glasses

2019
01:18:05,250 --> 01:18:07,570
and the Mercedes with the tinted windows.

2020
01:18:07,570 --> 01:18:10,610
Farewell to the cakes and teas and ices

2021
01:18:10,610 --> 01:18:13,290
every day exactly at four o'clock.

2022
01:18:13,290 --> 01:18:16,090
Farewell to those beautiful, smiling people.

2023
01:18:17,250 --> 01:18:20,450
Farewell to that single fresh rose in a vase

2024
01:18:20,450 --> 01:18:22,730
on my bureau in a hotel every day.

2025
01:18:23,650 --> 01:18:26,650
And just as I was climbing
into that first class seat

2026
01:18:26,650 --> 01:18:28,450
and wrapping myself in a blanket,

2027
01:18:28,450 --> 01:18:30,890
just as I was adjusting the
pillow from behind my head

2028
01:18:30,890 --> 01:18:33,890
and having a sip of that champagne,

2029
01:18:33,890 --> 01:18:36,450
just as I was adjusting and bringing down

2030
01:18:36,450 --> 01:18:41,050
my Thai purple sleep mask, I had an inkling.

2031
01:18:41,730 --> 01:18:43,050
I had a flash.

2032
01:18:44,430 --> 01:18:47,790
I suddenly thought I knew what it was

2033
01:18:48,670 --> 01:18:51,590
that had killed Marilyn Monroe.